w3LcoMe tO hEr woRLd*

2011-01-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes u really just wish that there was a stop button.
or a pause button
for u to pause life just to catch a breather of what is being thrown at you.
but then to your horror,
there is no such thing
and u just have to take everything
even when its just too much for u to bear

and its back to the time
where smiling takes a lot of energy too
and just to maintain status quo
complicated stuff processed by a puny 286
not really compatible

but who really cares

its the end results that everyone's after
and its that they will get
albeit a bit more slowly
complicated stuff are complicated stuff
so have to be processed slowly or complications might arise

just like life has no pause button,
and so one must continue to trudge on
facing the flow of queries
~~howruokeverythfine~~
yet another round
its just another round
and soon it'll all be over
all be over..

i shld prob change.
soon.
before i procrastinate.

2011-01-02T18:05:00.000+08:00

its a new year.. and supposedly a new start
but somehow i seem to be making a rather bad start to a new year.
somehow.. i wish i could turn the hands of the clock back
till now i have no idea if i regretted the decisions i made along the way
the things that i eventually gave up
without trying hard to achieve them
the things that i regret ending
will one more of my decision end up as my regret?
cos i'm too caught up in how miserable this is?
sigh
there are many things that i have thought hard and long about
but sadly, majority of those i cant even answer myself
its like, there's sth stopping me from answering
there's just too much to bear
either hurting, or feeling sad, or pitying
i have no idea.
but i just wanna be that nice person out there,
which when everyone thinks of, they would say.
oh she's such an angel
but i guess, now everyone's just saying
oh what a devil she is. such selfishness and thoughtlessness
the things that she does to gain attention and pity.
its not easy to be that person that i want to be
but i guess, no one ever really said life was a bed of roses
twas was said, life is, but a bed of roses.
and i stupidly left out the but
thinking that it will be true
oh bother. i'm emoing once more
i learn that i cannot run away from my problems.
they will still come back and haunt me.
and demand that i make the best out of my given situation to solve them
sometimes, i really think God is unfair
but i trust him
i trust Him to lead me through life
i have learnt not to rant and rave at God, but rather to trust him wholeheartedly
in the past, i chose to run away whenever i have a problem
run from God, from Him who has planted the problem there
i know that He planted it there for a purpose
for me to grow and learn
but somehow i cant seem to overcome that obstacle
i cant fanthom why God, who is so loving and kind,
would plant such things in my way.
i would have to learn
its not going to be easy. but i would try
and honesty is where i will begin from
without it, everything else will be a lie
just like how i lie to cover my true feelings
so that no one would be hurt
but i was selfish
cos i ended up hurting everyone
including me
and i hurt myself the most.
i'm tired of pretences
that's not who i am
and not who i wanna be.
so lets all just get honest
and let everything out.
and lastly, to forgive the person who has done harm in one way or another.
just like how God and Jesus forgive our sins.
we too, should learn
even they pardon us, so why cant we pardon those who sinned against us?

2011-01-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the day that i turned 22
and the day where i went out of house with 2 oerfect hole-less ears
and came back with 2 holes in my ears
ok.. so now i'm a hole-y person
HAHA!!!
okk.. lame i know. i shall stop

the start of my birthday wasnt spectacular.
but its ok
i guess.. everything will turn out fine
like wad da ge says. everything is in shades of grey
so i guess, after all that is said and done,
the rest is up to Him to decide alr

woke up to have my mama cook tian mian for me:)
that was <3
haha!

after which went out with yuko and mx:))
well.. i got to play my arcade game
JUBEAT!!!!
hahahaha
i hope to be able to play again soon
and i unlocked one new song
whee~~
and upped one jubeat level!
haha
so i'm no longer a noob nor a pineapple alr ok!
lol

after jubeating was lunch!
ok.. not really
cos went to play other arcade games
heh heh
its been some time since i last played arcade
ok lunch was HUMONGOUS.
yuko pulled me to eat some huge empire state burger
sth like the new york new york burger challenge
that was huge.
just eating one quarter of it is enough to make me full
lol

after which omg omg omg! this is the highlight i guess
yuko dragged me to have my ears pierced!!!
she just dragged me to a shop
and told me to choose a pair of earrings
that i was going to have them pierced that day
like o.O
i was so shocked
omg omg omg.
and now when i clean my ears with chlorhexidine, it hurts like mad!
mad much i tell ya!
:(((((
but no choice, i dont want infection to set in
so have to use chlorhexidine to wash..
sigh

so yea.. i went out with perfect ears
and now i'm more with 2 holes.
mixed feelings. definitely.

2010-12-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

wonders how long has it been since i last fell sick
as in with high fever.
not just flu or cough.
might be quite long ago.
and now, after all these time of complaining i might fall sick soon,
i finally fell sick
and what a time to have fever!
its just 4 days away from christmas
and all my plans of meeting up with my frens have to go awry
due to the fever monster D<
quite angry with it.
bah.
high fever is not fun :(
temp went up to like a 39.1..
then plunged to a low of 37.8
never once below baseline.
just hope that it would resolve itself after tml or sth
i've still gotta meet up with frens and attend a birthday party!

god, i sincerely pray to you
pls let my fever subside.
i really dont like flash fever
esp not at this time.

2010-12-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

exams have ended~ :)
and attachments has started
and about to end soon
lol.
its been long since i updated my blog..

exams ended on the 1st.
if amanda dear din fly off and had ended her exams too, we would be celebrating her birthday then
but.. nopes. that din happen
haha
instead, i went with the nurses to TUNG LOK
yes! TUNG LOK
you din see wrongly.
u must be thinking since when do we have so much moolah to splurge rites?
haha
the nike 10k runners have like $100 off vouchers
but have to spend minimum $200 la..
well.. its still ok
i managed to taste some pretty unique stuff
as well as awesome hor fun. haha!!
and in the end, one person paid ard $20 for the meal
awesome? totally! its called AWESOME-NESS
haha!!
ok i'm high
lack of sleep makes me high. and crazy. and i was just that the entire time during my last shift and today

i dont quite rmb wad i did for 2nd and 3rd dec.
but i knew i went out for both days...
hmmmm... ohhh! i went to play jubeat with ryan on 3rd dec!
ok
i'm hooked
that game is absolute fantabulastically addictive
HAHAHA XD
i shall have to start refraining myself from going to the arcade too often :s
eeps.

ohhh.. and i remembered. 2nd was out too..
so many outings after exams
and i've got a whole list after attachments too. LOL

4th had to stay over at my friend's house cos her aunt kindly said yes to driving us to school at 2.30am
haha
yes yes. cos 5th we had standard chartered marathon medical duties to cover
and omg. the sun was so freaking hot
i now have a sock tan line
ewwwww :(
its super disgusting. i hope it fades away soon.
and if i were to run the 42k. i die aso must finish before 11am
after that, the sun is just beating down mercilessly on you
not a fun thing esp if u are running along the expressway.
not much shelter too :x
medic duties done, i was shagged. TTM.
felt that i had ran 42k with the runners too! :s
slept so soundly on entire way home.
and went home, slept even more
ok.. in the evening went out to settle present for friend
busy busy!

acks.. ok now comes attachment
really nth much to be said
attachment is... attachment
indescribable
there's the good, better and best.
i would say this ranks between good and better
haha
i was trained in positive attitude (and of course thinking too)..
so yups. POSITIVE.
i was still panicking about being unable to meet 70% of my skills.
but thankfully, i managed to hit them all by today.
phew
so tml will be a slacker day for me! :D
okies.. not really. the fav pt discharged:(
no one to talk to:(
awwww.. but i will still survive the last day
haha:)
well.. there's still the semut to 'bully'.HEH
actually, i realised that the poly students are fun to hang out with.
should get to know them better
and they are really able to save u in many a times
haha

aniwaes, i've got a whole line up of exciting events to go
starting from this weekend itself
up all the way till the end of the year.
so if you ppl who are reading my blog wanna date me,
MAKE BOOKINGS IN ADVANCE!
i wont guarantee u a spot on the day u want.
but i will try to squeeze in some how
i've still got a few more days left available:)

hahaha. okies. that's all for self promotion.
go on and i think i will puke.
too much self promo isnt a good thing. HEH
cant wait for tml 3pm to come and go.
and its back to gLee :D

2010-11-29T21:50:00.001+08:00

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

brown paper packages tied up with strings

these are a few of my favourite things

oh how i miss the sound of music.

its been quite some time since i last saw it

and i always always remember how i long for the tc to show it

cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels

doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

these are a few of my favourite things

it brings back childhood memories

i remember never missing a single airing of it on tv

how i begged and pleaded with my parents to let me stay up late to watch

its a classic

the very first classic that i watched

and one that i fell in love with

i guess, started off my love affair with music too

girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes

snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

silver white winters that melt into springs

these are a few of my favourite things

subsequently, the number of times it got played on tv grew lesser and lesser

so much so that a few years would pass without even being able to see it played

at that time i din know much about missing something

but that is definitely one thing i missed the most

so when i saw the cd for the movie

i immediately jumped and asked my dad to get it

when the dog bites

when the bees stings

when i'm feeling sad

i simply remember my favourite things

and then i don't feel so bad.

and now all of a sudden i have this urge to watch it again

i shall satisfy it when my exams are over

for now,

its back to mugging for my last ppr

hopefully it will be better

and it must be better!

2010-11-18T02:01:00.000+08:00

2010-11-18T01:33:00.001+08:00

its just 4 more days to exams.
the very first paper
and i'm not done with revision yet.
this is really very very bad
sigh
and then all the other commitments i have to attend
oh wells
i guess for the next sem, i have to start my revision sooner
instead of this last min shit
not like last sem, i could still stay in school for the last few weeks to mug
the last 2 weeks was spent in IMH.
not studying.
so kinda lagging
and the stress is killing me
making me irritable
like there's some sort of pent up energy in me
i cant seem to get rid of them
its the feeling where by u cant really sit still
and then there's the problem of getting more slp
i'm actually able to survive on less of them!
oh wow
signs and symptoms of mania
yadah yadah yadah
as well as pressing thought process
i seem to skip a lot of things
and i'm randomizing once more
such that i dont even know wad i'm saying any longer
plus concentration is lacking
ahhh
shoots

2010-11-09T09:36:00.002+08:00

songs are emotions
they sing of the thoughts and feelings that you never had the courage
or maybe it just sings of your memories
songs lend strength to us
and can be healing too
a song that explcitly states how u feel
it may be one in a million
but the feeling is real

ifyouonlyknewwhatireallyfeelthesongreallydoessingofmyfeelingstowardsyounowbutiguessyouwillneverknowandwecanneverbetogetheragainbecosofallthemistakesivedoneandnowitmaybeimpossibleeventhoughofthethingsthativedoneheresbacktodecemberforyou

2010-10-28T20:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes do u feel that u are treated as 2nd class?
recently, i really do feel that way
saying that it doesnt really affect me is telling a lie
outright lie.
but who are you to judge another for doing so?
i do hate it when others pull out of stuff very last minute
and i do hate last minute plans or changes
but i myself am guilty of last min planning and changes so i shall not go there
just that when u are committed to something
or some stuff,
the least i expect of u is your committment to carry it out
and not telling me on the day itself
you arent able to carry out your bare minimum task
it irks me too much
but as again
who am i to say or critique or even advice
to you, i feel i am nth but another stranger that walks in and out of your life
to me, initially u were someone close and dear
but now becoming more and more like a stranger
someone that i have gradually grown to know lesser and lesser
the nature of human relationship is indeed fragile
and u have shown that to me once again
i know that
and i hope it wasnt you who reminded me of that fact
but it seems sadly that you have chosen to
its more of disappointment then anger
disappointment over the fact that i did not change the outcome
disappointment that i could not do anything about it when it pains me so
disappointment that i have failed terribly over this short course
disappointment that it turned out this way
but to you, i'm glad we had a chance
although it was short, but i guess i put in my all
i'm not sure if you did
but genuine friendships are ones that shine even though there's no light shining on it
it is one that you are able to see in your darkest times
it was good while it lasted
and though it pained me to say goodbye to such endearing relationship
and to such a close friend
but i guess you don't see it the same
so it would be just on my part
goodbye to you from my inner circle
goodbye to all the things we had and shared
for you have disappointed me so that i cant bring myself to go through it all once more...

2010-10-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

busy bee!
okies.. there have been a recent pile of assignments and tests
but i'm over that hill..
or almost
leaving me with one last assignment before i head off to conquer the IMH mountain
and the end of sem dreadness
yups.

so how will my next one and a half months be like?
well.. hectic as usual
somehow year 2 seems to have so much more to do
oh wells..
will be finishing up my assignments then its off to studying for my assessment
which that btw, is crazy
imagine urself memorising how to test for a certain portion of the human body
yups
that is a hell lot of things to memorize
and i have to squeeze in birthday celebrations and meeting ups with frens
not to forget i owe my cuz a dinner date
haha
okies.. after the assessment,
i'd be shipped off to IMH for attachment
yes
IMH
so freaking far from my house! T.T
but wad to do
i think its gonna be fuN fUN FUN=D
cant wait actually XD

then at that time, i have to start revising for my end of sem exams
so pardon me if i do not update my blog as frequently
for i really am pressed for time
i wish that there is sth called the time bank
where i can borrow some time
to do the things that i want and not be so pressed for time
but that is not possible rites?
so make do with wad i have and perservere on
i believe that i can make it through

and i finally watched glee.
its fantastic!
i like the songs in it
admittedly sometimes the characters are a little overboard.
but it makes great watching
i totally love it
and am a gleek convert now. <3

2010-09-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

i need someone to remind me how tight all my datelines are..
like quick quick!! bring me back to reality
sighh
i have so many assignments to hand in next month
at the start, middle and the end
sigh
what is this???
and i'm still on fb and twitter happily taslking to my frens
tsk
shld quote from pierre.. "wake up your idea"
such an apt description
and i dont want sgh to call me first thing this dec when my results are being sent to them:x
alrights man..
mugger mode to full blast now
need to buck up
like seriously...:x

2010-09-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

i'm a happy girl:)
HEH.
but i guess most of u would have alr known
its ok.. cos i'm happy
and that's all that matters rights?:D

well.. schools getting more and more hectic
and its kinda crazy
cos its like one test after the next followed by a slew of assignments to hand in
but being a student of NUS i cant complain much rites?
after studying in there for one year,
i should have gotten used to it..
but no.. sadly
i'm still in awe like how my lecturers do not know abt our plight
sighs...
and then, on top of it all,
we have our semester shortened by 2 weeks
wow...
haha!
ok.. must survive and try to do well this sem
its a promise
and i cant let my cousin pay the price for me not doing well rites?
so sharon shall be a good girl
and stop procrastinating
start studying
and not leave things to the last minute again:s

and as always, speaking is so much easier than doing
bloody hell...
rites.. here i go.
off to do my research again.
sigh...

2010-08-30T14:38:00.001+08:00

Sigh.. So bored
I reached school at 9.30am today
A tad too early..
Cos I'm supposed to meet my friend at 10
To pass him his med rag shirts
Ended up having to wait for some time
Oh wells.. At least I was early rights?
Haha!
I'm so proud of myself lo
Recently keep being early
Shld have a treat for myself.
Lol!

Came to school to find out that mental health lecture was cancelled
Zzzzzzz
Which leaves me with nth to do from 1 till 4..
WOW
I wish that the lecturer could tell us in advance the next time round..
So I can bring more stuffs to school to study
Sigh
Now so bored in school..
:(

2010-08-28T15:01:00.000+08:00

i heart technology
i heart telephone and handphones
without them i think i would have emoed more

it was really such great joy to talk
to communicate
i really love it i guess
yups

recently i recalled sth
its called the language of love
sth that i got to know during my jc times
from a councillor teacher
there are 5 languages of love

words of affirmation
quality time
receiving gifts
acts of service
physical touch

[courtesy of http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/]

i guess.. even after so long,
my love language have not changed.
and the first on my list is still physical touch.
haha.
so what's yours?:)

2010-08-26T12:16:00.000+08:00

okies.. ignore my last post.
i must be missing u madly
sigh.

and i really think that i have bipolar disorder of sorts
zzzz
like super high one moment
and super depressed the next
-.-"
i think i shall research more on that
haha
as my assignment topic for mental health module
lol
and this is bad.. i dont like mood swings
especially the very extremes
cos its scaring me
and i guess my friends too..

gonna go sing k:)
and occupy my little brain with many many stuff
so i wont think abt other things
and then maybe i wont have so much mood swings
haha
and i hope i really really dont have bipolar.
shit

2010-08-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

one more day, then it will be a week since i last saw u..
maybe like what u say,
i'm more free.. so i will miss you more
i think.. its kinda true..
but i aso know its not that u dont want to spend time with me
sigh
sometimes i wonder if i really want more time to myself
or less?
so ironic eh?

din think it would be possible for me to feel such an emptiness
missing someone can really reduce me to such eh?
the emptiness i feel in my heart
sighh
and i guess it wld be worse if either of us went overseas for a period of time
its already unbearable that u are in camp
and i'm attending school

torn:(

2010-08-17T19:15:00.002+08:00

let's celebrate the 360th post on my blog!!
whee~~
HAHA

aniwaes, just had the sudden urge to blog.
school has started.
officially for 1 week..
unofficially, for 2 weeks
my brain seems to be lost some place else
need to find it and bring it back to my head
but i dunno where to start
so maybe that explains my daydreaming ba..

lectures so far has been about fb-ing and tweeting
and yes
i know u wanna smack my head for doing that
but i'm bored=(
and it doesnt help that YOU keep running thru my head
bleah
but i'm thankful for that
cos it keeps me smiling all the time
and the warmth and glow i feel inside too=)

tutorial just started this week
i've been blur..
and there's work to do alr
sighh
all the researching is restarting again
and soon it will be time to do my case study alr
thankfully its not a person but a question this time rd
if not need to do care plan
omg..
the person will die before i find my references lo.
haha!

ytd i was super happy:)
the source, feels the same way too!
heh heh
okies.. totally over the moon now
so high now.. later will crash and burn
then emo
omg.. nono.. cannot like that
but i have to say,
the source has been all that i ever wanted
all that i ever wished for...
really *crosses my heart*

i know that i shldnt be saying this
but i miss u..
i understand u have to work..
and i wont want u to be distracted thinking how u can still find time for me
cos i understand perfectly:)
just that occassionally i will whine
so just put up with it and make me happy:)
cos after all a msg from u is all that i need
in order for me to fly to the moon
and it isnt fair for me to ask of u
time and space for me to go out
without doing the same for u too
i'm glad we talked ytd night
and maybe i shldnt have hugged u
its making me miss u even more=(
but still i'm glad i did
heh
i'm an ironic girl aint i?
and u are not suppose to know abt this blog!!
omg
okies.. nvm..
i alr gotten over the shock (or have i??)
heh
ok la.. i rambling alr
so i shall stop here:)

PS: I AM REALLLLLLYYYYY HAPPPPYYYYYY:DDD

2010-08-15T16:13:00.001+08:00

its really been some time since i wrote my blog..
there really has been a lot going on
in terms of school life, emotional and social life
yups..
but i guess if u have been seeing my fb stuff,
you would have known what i was up to alr.
haha..

but the feeling that i have now..
i want to cherish it
it has been a long time since i felt that way..
and just when i thought it might just be this way forever more,
i received a jolt and found my own adrenaline pump
so even when i'm away from the source of this pump,
i still feel it just by thinking abt it..
maybe.. just maybe.. the source is also feeling the same way?
but i have to admit..
i missed the touch.
which i received ytd at the beach
thank you=)
and more imptly,
continue on this journey with me please
because u made me addicted to u.

2010-06-26T13:34:00.000+08:00

recently has been super super busy
i really want to have some time for myself
to do the things we want
sighhsss
but oh wells..
this will most prob oni come true after my indonesia trip
and prob only for a few days
haha
how pathetic rites?
but that was what i signed myself up during my hols

next week i'll be having my CAC camp
then the week after having my Camp Together(Nurse)
then i'll be off flying to indon for my OCIP
tadah!!!
hahahaha

i wonder if i will miss my family not
hmmmmzzzz
aniwaes, i hope no one calls or msg me in indon...
i'll be off-ing my phone during the day
yups
dont want to incur the roaming charges
super sian
maybe at night will on ba
to call my dearest family=)
but this is something that i really wanna do
i have never done an OCIP before
this would be an experience i bet

and... recently, i keep oversleeping
like seriously sharon
you need to have more discipline
wake up at the timings you have to wake up!
cheryl aw's so angry with me for oversleeping so many times=(
must really stop doing that alr
esp during the camp...
sighh

ok ok...i think i shall stop my ramblings here
if not i can just go on and on
haha!
maybe after when i come back from CAC camp,
there will be more interesting stuff to blog abt! =D

2010-05-30T12:41:00.000+08:00

its been quite some time since i last posted aint it?
well.. attachment's been good
not particularly stellar,
but just ok
put it this way
at least its not bad or worse
as long as i know how to keep myself happy and positive
i guess i can go thru it
another 10 more days..
it will be just like the past 9 days
i can do it!!! *psyching myself up*

yesterday went to pay camp fees
saw xb and stingy
really happy day
but hopes got dashed by cheryl
sighss
hahaha
both me and nila cant forgive her for dashing our chances of bonding session
LOL!
hence, operation dry run is now going to be planned out
sooo looking forward to dry run
oh my..
maybe can meet more friends =D
happy happy!

aniwaes, at night met up with long long time aso never see friends
haha!
its been 3 weeks since i last saw them
really miss all my nursing friends
bitching about our experiences
hahaha!
it was a real pleasure having to meet them again
went to seizeriya to eat as usual
haha
then we went to yello jello for drinks
hmm...the mojito i drank was a tad too sweet
not like the one serene drank
that was just nice
i liked it a lot
but not this one
oh wells..

well..i got many many things ytd
lotsa chpt 2 vouchers
which means i can cut hair cheaper!!!=D
then i bought my hush puppies shoes at a steal
i consider buying a pair at $76 a steal
of cos! the previous price was a whooping $95 -.-"
I LOVE GSS (and its pre GSS sales;p)
finally got to eat my cream puff from tampopo deli after a long long time
bought one for myself, one for my bro
see bro! i treat u so nice rites??

ahhh..ytd was indeed a fulfilling day
filled with happiness
but i guess one cannot be too greedy
they must have seen how happy i was during the afternoon
so they decided not to let him talk to me=(
maybe lets see about today...
*crosses finger and pray fervently*
haha
or maybe all these has been my one sided over vivid imagination...

2010-05-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

i'm unhappy.
but it doesnt change anithing
i shld probably learn how to listen more than talk

2010-05-15T16:38:00.000+08:00

its quite hilarious..
i went to sleep knowing that today was a sat
and that i do not need to do attachment today
however, i woke up in fright at ard 6.45am today
thinking that i would be late for attachment..
omg..i must be damn rooted in attachment alr :x
then i managed to convince my body that it was a sat
and i'm supposed to rest.
i'm amused...
i'm not a morning person..
yet i was able to wake up in fright
thinking why my alarm did not wake me up (when i did not set it in the first place)
maybe..just maybe..
my body is gearing me up for acute setting attachment alr.
everyone, lets all jiayou ok?
we can get past this and it would be a better and brighter next day =)

hello, i'm your nurse

你好，我是你的護士

こんにちは、私はあなたの看護師だ

hallo bin ich Ihre Krankenschwester

bonjour, je suis votre infirmier

ciao, io sono la tua infermiera

안녕하세요, 난 당신 간호사예요

hola, soy su enfermera

2010-05-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

seriously...i've no mood to study.. and i feel that exams are killing me
that is for all except jap
my love, my interest.
haha..the irony

2010-04-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

i'm procrastinating..seriously badly...
i shld be doing my physio but i dont have the heart to do it
neither do i wanna do revision
but then, exams are all part of the student's life isnt it?
i swear that the education system here is slowly killing me and my cells
one by one
and then they all just drop and die.
HAH
i swear that i would be happier
but am i really happy?
for whom do i smile for?
for myself?
when will i be able to do that? find a reason within me to continue and smile?
much of what i have now, the reasons for the smiles to come thru
are not from me.
but from those ard me
the reason why i am still a coward in taking my own life
yes..
a bloody coward
sometimes in life, i wish i can delete off certain portions
you know.. like the backspace button in your computer?
or the delete button as well?
just like that
but its not possible in real life aint it?
and you just have to live with it
and continue wondering about it
and the pain just haunts you
again and again and again and again
it just doesnt stop...
urgghhhh..i'm just emoing
maybe its the stress..maybe its just me
let me be in my own world. i need to vent it all out
before i hyperventilate and go berserk and die
seriously, my life is eat, shit, sleep and die.
meaningless.

2010-04-26T21:49:00.004+08:00

huhh..took me pretty long to find it..
but its a nice song. worth it i would say
take a listen:) and i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did

每個醒來的早上
開始一天的盼望
世界有無數扇窗
我能看見怎樣的遠方

在我前進的路上
風景都是反方向
相信總會有一天
我會找到同行的肩膀

雖然你還沒出現
卻已給我夢想

我們帶著相遇的信仰來到世界上
為了一個秘密的約定找尋著對方
就算等待有一點漫長心有點迷惘
但只要再向前走
我相信我和你一定會遇上

我知道人會說謊
也知道難免受傷
但我並不想反抗
因為有你會在我身旁

雖然你還沒出現
卻已給我翅膀

我們帶著相遇的信仰來到世界上
為了一個秘密的約定找尋著對方
就算等待有一點漫長心有點迷惘
但只要再向前走
我相信我和你一定會遇上

我知道人會說謊
也知道難免受傷
但我並不想反抗
因為有你會在我身旁

我們帶著相遇的信仰來到世界上
為了一個秘密的約定找尋著對方
就算等待有一點漫長心有點迷惘
但只要再向前走
我相信我和你一定

我們帶著相遇的信仰來到世界上
為了一個秘密的約定找尋著對方
就算等待有一點漫長心有點迷惘
但只要再向前走
我相信你一定會在我身旁

2010-04-18T00:27:00.000+08:00

where to begin, where to look?
like the lost sheep that i was, i thought i found my shepard
but now once again
it looks like i have lost sight of what i wanted
what was it that was guiding me thus far?
in a world that is so full of people,
i wonder why at times we feel that we are so alone
is it a good thing or a bad thing?
to feel alone and to be alone
to think of things that we would otherwise choose to escape from
in the silence of our own company...
still... i wonder how many of us have to courage to say
yes i'm alone and proud to be alone
why do we all escape from being left by ourselves?
why do we fear being with ourselves?
its an answer that i know not of
maybe one day down the road, i might be enlightened
due to a certain person, a certain event, a certain occurence
or maybe... i may not even know the answer at all
not in this life
humans are such ironic individuals
i am one of them too
and thus i question myself many things
many, even i myself, can never answer.
and these questions never fail to be included in it
Why do I exist?
For whom do I exist?
What am I here for?
all these questions will never have an answer as long as i live
maybe if there is a heaven,
maybe like what Mitch Albom says, we will meet 5 people in heaven
5 different people whom somehow have touched and changed our lives
then, i will know the answer
but then, my life will long be over
and all that's left on earth are the memories of what i have done...

2010-04-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

それでもいい　それでもいいと思える恋だった
soredemoii soredemoii to omoeru koidatta
戻れないと知ってても　繋がっていたくて
modorenai to shittetemo tsunagatte itakute
初めてこんな気持ちになった
hajimete konna kimochi ni natta
たまにしか会う事　出来なくなって
tama ni shika augoto dekinakunatte
口約束は当たり前
kuchi yakusoku wa atarimae
それでもいいから
soredemoiikara

叶いもしないこの願い
kanaimo shinai kono negai
あなたがまた私を好きになる
anata ga mata watashi o suki ni naru
そんな儚い　私の願い
sonna hakanai watashi no negai
今日もあなたに会いたい
kyoo mo anata ni aitai

それでもいい　それでもいいと思えた恋だった
soredemoii soredemoii to omoeru koidatta
いつしかあなたは会う事さえ拒んできて
itsushika anata wa augoto sae kobandekite

一人になると考えてしまう
hitori ni naru to kangaete shimau
あの時　私　忘れたらよかったの?
anotoki watashi watsuretara yokattano
でもこの涙が答えでしょう?
demo kono namida ga kotae deshou
心に嘘はつけない
kokoro ni uso wa tsukenai

恐いくらい覚えているの
kowaikurai oboete iru no
あなたの匂いや　しぐさや　全てを
anata no nioiya shigusaya subetewo
おかしいでしょう?　そう言って笑ってよ
okashii deshou soo itte waratteyo
別れているのにあなたの事ばかり
wakarete iruno ni anata no goto bakari

恋がこんなに苦しいなんて
koi ga konna ni kurushii nante
恋がこんなに悲しいなんて
koi ga nonna ni kanashii nante
思わなかったの　本気であなたを思って知った
omowanakatta no honkide anaata o omotte shitta

恐いくらい覚えているの
kowaikurai oboete iru no
あなたの匂いや　しぐさや　全てを
anata no nioiya shigusaya tsubatewo
おかしいでしょう?　そう言って笑ってよ
okashii deshou soo itte waratteyo
別れているのにあなたの事ばかリ
wakarete iruno ni anata no goto bakari

あなたは私の中の忘れられぬ人　全て捧げた人
anata wa watashi no naka no wasurerarenu hito subete sasageta hito
もう二度と戻れなくても
moo nido to modorenakutemo
今はただあなたあなたの事だけで
ima wa tada anata anata no goto dakede
あなたの事ばかり
anata no goto bakari

2010-04-09T11:34:00.001+08:00

brings back those times..those band times
trumpet. oh how i dearly miss it...
this piece is a nice piece rites?
i loved this piece. its the very first piece that i played for an audience at vch
ahhh...that was pretty long ago i guess
and until now, i'm still looking for that on mp3..
its hard to find.but i'm sure i will find it somehow.

after listening to how st magaret's band played it,
thank you for playing such a piece at your concert.
thank you for letting me relieve those times where i really liked band a lot
thank you for reminding me how much i'm attached to band=)

2010-03-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

wistfulness..oh how i wish it was the past

nostalgic times... which i can never return to,

only to visit them from time to time...

visited the doctor today...

got reminded of the times where i went to see the doctor..

i still remember... Dr Wong, my family doctor

till my entire family moved

he is a good doctor, knowing me so well..

ahhh...if only i did not move, but that is not possible

and its not for me to decide my fate.

its been far too long since i had a good sleep

i realise that... after my body started procrastinating

but its not too late yet i hope

slept most of my entire afternoon away instead of listening to webcasts

the cost for which, i shall dearly pay tomorrow

but for now, let me ravel in this state.

a state of sleepiness

and getting enough rest for my body to recover

and for my aching to go away

all i want to do now is burrow underneath my blankets

and visit my loong forgotten Lala land.

2010-03-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

oh finally!!! Madam See has passed on...
and i can finally get some rest after 2 insane weeks of mugging and doing assignment
ahhh.. the long awaited and needed rest

fell sick on thurs... but still struggled to finish my care plan for madam see
was struggling in the lib with my nose running like open tap
super uncomfy, but what to do?
heng i finished it by afternoon
and proof reading and stuff was done by thurs night

then comes the thera com stuff..script writing
ahhh... looks like i will need to wait another week before i can fully rest
oh wait! there's genes and soc assignment!
oh no! when can i rest?
after genes and soc would be mugging for exams=(
sighhhsssss....
it sucks having flu and cough now
and my voice is super sexy
i swear you would be mesmorized by it the moment u hear it
yeps.. without a doubt

2010-03-16T20:40:00.001+08:00

大好きです！
楽しい映画です！
次の映画を私は傾斜を待つ..
まで来るときになるのだろうか？
わからない。
しかし、私の期待では、終了などの素晴らしいドラマを待つ

2010-03-13T03:34:00.003+08:00

突然、私は、私のトランペットを逃すと、バンド内の生活が懐かしい私のユーフォニアムを欠場
ただし、私はいつも、それは私の口にけがをした方法のため、バンドの練習を嫌っている
私はいつも愛の音楽作品とされて再生されて
曲のメドレー
おそらく、これらすべてのだめカンタービレによってもたらされた..
ベートーベン交響曲7番
Dでパッヘルベルのカノン
どのように私はそれらの間を欠場
私の音楽、下記を私に来る?

2010-03-08T18:31:00.004+08:00

2010-03-08T13:36:00.004+08:00

this is my inner soul state.

i have no idea why i am being sucked into this state

there must be a reason.. just that i've yet to find out

and too lazy to do so i think

PS: the photos are from deviantart.

dear madam see, i think you are really screwed with so many comorbidities

but thankfully you are living in the 21st century where there is technological advancements

this helps saved your life so that you will be able to live a longer life (and watch your son marry and have kids)

still, i'm having a major headache over your situation

its so complicated for me at this stage

so i wish you'd just take your last breath

or get better soon

yours, the future nurse who's doing up your NCP

at least trying to do up before you die

and thankfully (YES! thankfully!) you're just on a piece of paper.

2010-03-05T11:52:00.003+08:00

The stars lean down to kiss you/And I lie awake and miss you/Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly/But I'll miss your arms around me/I'd send a postcard to you, dear/'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue/But it's not the same without you/Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad/'Til I look at my hands and feel sad/'Cause the spaces between my fingers/Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways/Though I haven't slept in two days/'Cause cold nostalgia/Chills me to the bone/But drenched in vanilla twilight/I'll sit on the front porch all night/Waist-deep in thought because/When I think of you I don't feel so alone/I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink/I'll think of you tonight/I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter/And heavy wings grow lighter/I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew/But I swear I won't forget you/Oh, if my voice could reach/Back through the past/I'd whisper in your ear/Oh darling, I wish you were here

2010-02-19T18:01:00.005+08:00

i love this picture of me..i look so at ease with myself here

recent times was a struggle

but struggling thru stuffs is a way of growing as well

if i'm able to leap over this obstacle,

i would be able to overcome the others as well wont i?

as they say what doesnt kills you, makes you stronger

i'm sure i'll emerge an even stronger person

and i wont run away like i use to anymore, but instead, i'll run head on to it

i must have the courage and i will
of course my friends will always be there to support me i know. like they always do

no matter what our differences are:)

2010-01-27T23:45:00.001+08:00

直到他不再猜我，理我，我才深深的体会到一股莫名其妙的寂寞感与悲伤。。。
在一旁思念着你的我，心里面正在呐喊你名字的我，
你是否知道我的心情与感受吗？
可是，从那一刻起，你已不再回头看我了。。。

~~therewontbeanothertime.iswear.ithoughtuweredifferent,butyouplayedwithmyfeelings...~~

2010-01-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

reading my older posts, i found i have not changed..
what yun said was true..i went one entire BIG round...
and came back to the starting point again..
why cant i just improve on myself without deproving or taking steps back?
for every one step taken in the right direction,
i take 2 in the opposite
bringing me further and further away from my goal and direction

pls guide me back to the path that i was taking...

2010-01-22T22:49:00.003+08:00

why do hot tears roll down at night?
i'm not suppose to be feeling this way...
all of a sudden, i feel that i cant go on any more
lost the flame of life, lost direction
lost who i am and what i'm suppose to be
its not suppose to be like that
i hate this me
i hate it

2010-01-11T22:34:00.003+08:00

finally the semester break is over,
3 weeks of fun and enjoyment is over
officially.
and starting from today, this moment,
its time to push up studying into gear 4 mode
not now..but slowly and surely, i must ease into it
yups...

this semester, i'm taking, other than my core modules,
the 2 other modules
genes and society -- GEM (science)
japanese 1 -- UEM
yups..
they say that genes and soc not easy to take for one without bio backgrd
so i took
since i have bio backgrd
still..first lecture,
i went in, and i din understand a single thing-.-
OMG HOW????
the lecturer is from china
ultra strong china accent with his english
so much so that i cant understand
then, there are those who say dont take language in NUS
but i just wanna take jap out of interest
learn..its a good opportunity for learning
with the quizzes that they are gg to throw at me,
i think i will learn more and faster
as they allow me to develop and grow more each time
that's what i feel
but then again, i havent taken the lecture yet...
so i'm not sure
LOL

thankfully so far, my timetable's been great,
i've been given what i wanted the most
including balloting for my core tutorials
yups...but there's a minor problem
cos one of my lecture which is back to back,
is at the 2 ends of NUS~!!
omg...i hope the lecturer of genes and soc will end early always on thurs
haha
if not i have to zhao earlier to get to FASS
from science to FASS
WOW
i must be crazy.
but then, there's only thurs lecture for jap
no choice
sighhsss

i guess waking up at 6am indeed needs awhile to get use to...
i'm still not very good at waking damn early in the morning
how i wish there wasnt ani 8am lecture..
but too bad..
physio is always 8am

out of my entire schedule,
wednesday is my wholly tutorial day
and friday is my free day
but then the thing is friday will be filled with other stuff..
so i doubt it will be free..
haha

okies...i have a few objectives for this sem
first, i want to pull up my cap (that is definitely)
second, to get at least B for physio (must!!!!cos i got C last sem-.-")
third, do not give up on genes and society. (i must work even harder to try and understand..and hopefully score..not C but B)
last and not least, try my very best to do the best that i can for jap1

not that i'm trying to prove anithing,
but the thought of me not doing well in sth that i have interest in and like,
i think its letting myself down
so for me, i MUST MUST MUST be more focused this semester

alrities!
cheers everyone,
here's to a new and better semester
and to a brighter and better year=)

2009-12-28T17:30:00.002+08:00

okies..i admit i've been procrastinating about writing this post
but then its long overdued
and i have no longer ani more excuse to use...
haha
exams are done and over with
results are already out
well..all i can say is i will strive to do better next sem
(and not play too much..like tt's possible...haha!)
hmmm
attachment at st lukes was not as dreadful as i expected
on the contrary, it was quite fun
and i enjoyed the experience totally!
=)

okies...
here goes...pat and jamie got married
so did yifong and vincent...
so it was busy busy(for the 2nd one) and money fly away=(
all that i earned from working this 2 months were gone to the 2 weddings...
oh wells...students are poor ppl after all

2 weeks of attachment really eats up most of the holidays
been trying to play and relax to my hardest so far
haha
yups...going out to sing k, meeting up with friends...LOL
played abit too hard till i fell sick=X
down with flu and cough..
not a pleasant feeling
especially when its so near my bday!

xmas was spent going to a musical (city harvest one..)
going to eat with my friends and bro
and cooking dinner(pasta!)
boxing day was movie marathon day!
haha
and after watching 6 hours of movies, the television was ok after that
i mean for that night only
-.-"
the next day, the television was still spoilt..wth..
i guess, its old alr, and needs time to warm up..HAHAHA

there's still a lot a lot more things that i wanna do!
BUT THEN...THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!=(
sadded...
oh did i mention that i exchanged my psp with amanda's ds???
hahaha
there's so many games in there that i wanna play!!!!
LOL
i finished trauma centre 1..now going to trauma centre 2
i think will be playing finish soon..
ohohoh..and there's this brain age thing
so addictive!!!!
haha

okies okies...enough talk abt ds games
how am i?
well..can be better though i think
my heart's not here..its somewhere else..
hopefully it will find its way back soon
ngh...this is getting too depressing...
okies..lets cut it out
there's so many things floating in my mind..
but unlike the past, it doesnt overwhlem me this time
pros and cons..pros and cons..
its doesnt matter if u dont understand me ani longer,
cos i dont understand myself too.....

2009-11-27T17:53:00.002+08:00

Wedding Dress -- Taeyang

Where U At -- Taeyang

i'm so mesmerised by him now..
and after a long spell of not feeling anything for anyone,
he finally got my dead heart beating well and alive again..
thank you taeyang(:

2009-11-24T17:49:00.003+08:00

two papers are down...i'm left with 3..
PY1105 - Physiology I
NUR1104 - PIP
NUR 1109 - Healthcare Ethics and Law
i havent started revision for the last 2
am i screwed?
maybe
and my schedule for the rest of the year are as such:

PY1105 exam
NUR1104 exam
wedding banquet (pat)
NUR1109
work
banquet debrief
clinical attachment (5 days)
hen's party
wedding (yf)
clinical attachment (5 days)
release of results
xmas celebration
countdown to a new year..

and somewhere in b/w, i have to do my cors for one module which i have no idea what is it yet...

am i a lousy friend? i think i am
i neglect ppl. A LOT.

2009-11-13T23:53:00.003+08:00

i hate living in this home.especially during such times.
i try all means to comprehend..but i just cant
i seem to fail in this aspect
there is just something in the tone used
that makes me just flare..however hard i try to suppress it
and then it doesnt help when things happen
like screaming, shouting and being childish
omg.
sighs...at times, i wonder
why do i still put up with these
and where in the world do i have the strength to continue on
but somehow..maybe cos of the word kinship
that binds us all together stronger than any kind of glue
that i'm able to return to these again and again
even though i feel like shouting and throwing my tantrums
bt i still swallowed it and let it pass
i dunno how to handle anymore actually
i want to just run away
run away from all these
but i cant
i just simply cant
cos they are family
if i were to run away, where do i turn to?
however unreasonable, i still call this home
and this is my 'respite', my 'haven'
issit?
i'm not sure
i just want to bury myself in somewhere quiet
where no one will disturb me
though i'm still connected to the world with the internet.
i'm contradictory

PS: ppl, if u go to heeren to shop, pls avoid the shop called "Benna La Mode"(#04-06A/07, just beside NewUrbanMale). the service attitude of the person there sucks BIG TIME. she looks down on ppl whom she thinks are not able to afford the clothes there. not only that, she looks down on ppl who are on the chubbier side (like what's wrong with that?) and passes snide remarks like "even a $100+ dress also cant fit u and we dont carry cutting of pieces that will fit you"

2009-11-07T17:45:00.006+08:00

i feel like i'm super screaming for attention
am i?
why do i have all these heavy emotions bottled up inside me?
when it gets too much, it just spills out and then..
i dont know
i'm just a bloody idiot who wants attention
and a super hypocritical person
who puts on a smile day after day when everything is just not ok
and still doesnt say a single word about it

I HATE ME
~~JUST LET ME DIE...I DONT BELONG HERE ANYWAY...~~

2009-11-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

i'm getting pretty excited about my clinicals in dec...
just went to my clinical place today for fieldtrip...
the ppl there are so friendly
but i think i was super nervous la...afterall, its the first time i'm doing it
but i'm thinking how i am suppose to get up like so early=S
morning shift is 6.45am to 3pm..
OMG...have to wake up super early..
but afternoon shift aso not ani better la
1pm-9pm...
LOL

ok la..lets not rant
just accept it and do what i can
and hopefully not oversleep
hahahaha

2009-10-25T17:27:00.003+08:00

everyone's either celebrated their birthday, celebrating it soon or in the midst of planning one...
as for me? i'm still undecided
should i throw a birthday party?
where? when? theme?
actually, i've already decided on the theme...
so scrap that
haha

but the question is..how much?
how much will it cost me?
i'm cash strapped..and after dec 3rd week, even more so
i havent even started planning the food, place or send out invites..
okies..the invites can be sent out later..but still..
there's so many things to be done
but i'm like so busy with my school work and i still need to get my friend's present done up!!!
oh my G...sighs...

so should i go prepare it now? should i hold a party?
i really cant answer myself
part of me says i want one
part of me is saying its too much of a hassle
to just forget it
after all, my party will just comprise of ghosts and me..
i'm so torn...=|

maybe i shld just tunnel myself in bed that day
and hibernate
haha
sleep in the entire day...
hmmmm...sounds nice and tempting=)
just me, the bed, the blanket and hopefully a rainy day=D
sounds so tempting...
maybe i should just do that...
spend a day slacking at home...

2009-10-20T00:58:00.003+08:00

so many things happened and is happening
but one thing i'm sure
i'm glad that i took the chance
and i'm glad that i perservered..
lets just hope and pray that my future choice will be a correct one

2009-10-13T21:45:00.002+08:00

shag shag shag
super shag, but super worth it
went for pool training to have a look on monday night..
not too bad
i learnt some stuff
haha
but then end up shoulders pain=S
and thanks to Jo, i got a lift home!!!=D
but guess i'm not so lucky everytime rites?
LOL

today played squash.
so fun so fun
but then now my muscles are complaining to me
hell lot of complains flooding my CNS now=X
but its super worth it la!!
haha

i think i need to excercise more
my stamina is like chui..haha
aniwaes, who wanna go watch New York Philharmonic Orchestra play at Botanic Gardens this sunday (18th Oct)? it starts at 6pm..
please please please tell me ok? i wanna go...=)

2009-10-09T23:58:00.004+08:00

有些话不用嘴来说，只要用心去聆听就好了。。。
听听心里是怎么说的。。。什么是最重要？什么是虚伪？
我好想分个清楚
我是清醒的，我是很清楚地知道我要什么，是吗？
一切的一切都变模糊了

2009-10-03T18:26:00.004+08:00

finally mid terms are over...
but i'm fairly sure that doesnt means that i can slack
as in slack like before recess week...
was i slacking before that?
i dun think so leh..but apparently, i was
bleahs...
oh wells...

more on my mid terms,
anatomy was easy...
i scored fairly well seeing that i din really study much...
haha
but i cant say the same for physio tho..
the exam was tough...
all the options looks like they are correct to me..
i was pondering which was the correct answer:X
that was bad...
the answers shld come to me with a click of my fingers..
but i guess i din study enough to be able to do that feat...
haha.....

well...its really time to mug..
i promise to myself i'll do good in NUSnursing
so i'd better
cos i dont have another chance alr

its time to buck up girl..stop making everyone else worry abt you..

2009-09-28T23:06:00.003+08:00

nice not nice not?
hahaha.i went to search for blogskins
then ended up with this
well...u can see i apparently LOVE desserts A LOT.
LOL
but its the truth la
i go crazy over nice looking desserts, pens with loads and loads of colours, breads...
well...basically things that tempt me are worth going crazy over
HAHAHAA

ohhh...just wanna blog.
recess week wasnt recess at all
waking up at the usual timing of 7, 8am
like where's the rest???
oh my G la...i'm like even more tired then before
sigh...
anatomy today was like ok..
but like got some hard questions that cannot do
must study hard le=(
if not cannot get my scholarship.

need to study for physio next
but then i'm like procrastinating now...
WOW
hahaa
but need to study la
tml then...tml i will concentrate on my cardio
then wed study all over again
yea...

well...all i can say is hang in there..
がんばってください。

2009-09-22T11:13:00.002+08:00

henry's officially flown off and is in southampton now...
haha
for updates, please do check his facebook regularly.
LOL.
okies...so i cried when i sent him off..
urrghhhh..so dui lian can???=(
i wished i held back my tears
but then, whats done been done
i just hope that i din make leaving harder for him
he'll just be gone for 2 years there abt
(cos he has to come back for attachment...)
in the meantime while he's gone, all we can do is to keep the gang intact
yeps..
so that when he comes back, we'll all be there at the airport receiving him
haha

PS mama! SNAIL MAIL!!!!!;p

2009-09-18T12:45:00.003+08:00

OH YES!!!! the school's blogger is working!!!!
hahhaa
i'm just so excited sia
LOL
aniwaes, my laptop has been repaired by my WONDERFUL DAD
haha
the person tell me my motherboard spoil then i so sad
actually is the hard disk that spoilt la
-.-"
wth loh
motherboard=\= hard disk can?
the customer service person ani how give me info

school's been fine so far..haha
i'm so looking forward to the recess week next week..
yes siree
haha
cos i can sleep in late!!!
wheee~~~~
still, after tt is the CA week alr=(
so saddening la...
have to study during the recess week

oh yea...henry's flying off this sunday
i hope i wont cry then
i dun wanna make leaving singapore ani harder for him then it is now
just hope that he wont miss us too much
and of cos will be studying hard and trying his best to acclimatised to the country there
well mama, u know u'll always be in my thoughts...

PS: i dunno why i'm tearing again...like the past.i dun like this. the losing control over my emotions...i need to be strong again.just like before...

2009-09-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

they say the higher ur IQ, the lower ur EQ..
then maybe i shldnt get too smart...
in that case, i would have a higher EQ and able to understand loads more things...
but then that's not the case..
where did my EQ gone?
i'm like a baby..
learning things anew
of how to connect with people,
how to understand their language and their ways

am i irritating?
am i a good fren?
or am i someone who u think u can just get rid of me by placating me, doing the things that u think i want u to do so that i would go away?

when u're young, you go to school
you get expose to cirriculum, and i started to feel dumb
i just couldnt cathc up fast enough..
i'm always lagging behind
meitocracy...that's where your IQ comes in
but where does the EQ stand?
we need EQ to communicate with people,
to understand them...
i really do not want to be the outcome of such a sad education system
i should just continue to feel dumb
then my EQ would increase...

-rubbishing..

2009-09-09T17:28:00.002+08:00

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~
i wish citation quiz was so so so so so much easier..
but oh wells...
apparently i was wrong in thinking that it was an easy task to do
i ended up having my head blown into ultra big proportions
just for that...
haha

i wanna go to the comex fair!!!!
anione wanna go with me???
haha
i just dun wanna go myself la..and its more fun to be with another person than shopping ard alone
dont u think so too???

fac of med is having a quad-fac bash soon
like REAL SOON....
i'm still like sitting on the fence as to whether to go or not...
MAJOR BIG PULL FACTOR>>>>
the potentially CUTE AND AVAILABLE GUYS that i'll be able to see there:):):):):):):)
yups yups...
okies okies..
they're just for me to have a bigger motivation factor to go to school ma...
haha
its just that its been getting harder and harder to wake up in the morning
lol
cos of the lack of sleep la....
what are u thinking????i not watching late nite tv for sure...
its just that all the homework and stuff are piling up
ps: i wanna grouse abt the fact that the recent presents are all one man biz =.=
haha
not blaming anione tho=) but then its abit draining arh....

okies...stop the grousing and get back to work
arggghhhh
CITATION QUIZ!!!!!:(((

2009-09-05T16:28:00.000+08:00

busy busy sia...
no time to study=(
and then exams are in another month's time
WAAAAAA~~~~

ok ok..relax sharon..

just went for may's party just now..
am at home now..but need to go off in like an hour and 15 minutes time..
yea..
lol
for wad?
another fren's party loh
haha. thus, today sharon is a busy busy girl
not cos of studying la..but of parties
haha.

oh yea..and today morning i went to collect my RIP-ed lappie..
yea..collect the dead body..
i dunno wad to do to it aniwaes..
so most prob let it rot in its box..

***************************************************************

i wonder where do i stand in this world...
like in all places i feel kinda left out..
like a misfit jigsaw puzzle..
a sore thumb standing out..
sometimes i wonder if i really do go missing,
will there be anione who will notice it?
or maybe they'll only take note after a week or so

how significant or insignificant am i?
then again, who am i to ask someone to take notice of me?
i'm just a small fry
someone whose very existence means nothing
nothing as compared to those around me
nothing as compared to starving people of africa too

i wonder, what am i suppose to do in my lifetime
why was i given a chance to step upon this very earth,
and live this very life?
there must be something out there that i must do
a role that i must play and fit into
so that society will still continue to function
i'm just a part..a part in a series of cases...
and yet i do not know where do i fit into...
sighs...

just dont mind me..
i'm just wondering how my non-existent 21st party will be like
full of ghosts? or full of people?

2009-09-03T21:32:00.005+08:00

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG NEWS
MY LAPTOP OFFICIALLY GAVE UP GHOST ON ME..THEREFORE IT RIP-ed.

yups.the motherboard was a goner...
then they dont have ani more spares...
which means that my lappie cant be repaired..
WOW
thus..i'm now looking for a new laptop or netbook
yea..but then i'm funding myself

ohh..i heard there's windows 7 os coming out soon
think i shld wait for the lappies to be equipped with windows 7 os then buy rites?
lol
i dunnno la...
but all i know is that,
i've become dependent on having my own laptop..
yea..
it sux not having a personal laptop
wanna do anithing aso kinda restricted..
BOOOOO=(

2009-08-29T14:56:00.001+08:00

darned laptop..
this just in...
MY LAPTOP HAS FINALLY GIVEN UP ON ME
yea..
currently at this very moment its at acer technical support centre collecting dust
why? cos diagnostic test will oni be carried out on monday
darn it la..
it spoiled at a time where i'm rushing to print my notes and aso
to upload my findings for tutorial
oh yea..thanks a lot arh
~~WTHWTHWTHWTHWTH~~

well..at least there was the desktop at home
i wish i had another laptop to fall on to..
which means i hope i would be able to get a new notebook or netbook like SOON????
bt then its not possible as i dun have the $$ -.-"
this sux totally

ok..enough griping
i have to get back to work..
psst..i'm like gonna hog the desktop until my lappie comes back
think my bro is so gonna be a total bitch this week just for that=X

2009-08-28T12:28:00.002+08:00

something to think abt..
its just 6 mins long..take a look(:

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

2009-08-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

hope.its a feeling..rollercoaster ride
sometimes i feel its really a scary thing
what does it means to hold hope?
living in a hopeless world akin to a grey world
nothing much to look forward to
nothing much to look back to

seeing those children
reflecting upon my life
what do i really wanna do with my life?
that feeling just came up into my chest
poured into my chest
overwhelming it
though its just one drop in an ocean, but without it, the ocean is one drop lesser
we dont do great things, we do little things with GREAT LOVE
this quote is great

and at the end, do i really mean what i say
and walk my talk?
the things i can do maybe limited by the grey areas and specialities
but how much i can do within my means is much more important
maybe someday i'll be 'hope' to someone, somebody..
someday..

2009-08-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

oh no!!!! blogger seems like its been hacked!!!=X
blogger task bar doesnt appear ani more...
plus its all so weird la.
issit me? or is everyone else aso facing the same thing?

ohhh...just wanna say...
I'M SICK!!!DOWN WITH FLU=(
sighs..
i think i very xun sia..
fall ill easily..sighs..
hope can get better soon..
i really dun like to tio flu leh..
very xinku=(

and i'm still so not use to waking up at 6am..
all the lack of sleep aso..
seem very tired this week..
mayb sth to do with the flu as well..
or cos i din get enuf rest tt's why will fall sick..
alamak..
well..at least i've got fris off=)
then can sleep in tt day..

but then its oni tues la..
have to wait till thurs.. another 2 more days..
haha
doctor?have i seen one??u asked??
ehhhh...hahahaha...
nopes.havent
where got time?
everyday come back at like 5,6pm..
leave hse at 7am..
no time la..

rites..sleepy le..need to get enuf rest..
tml still need to reach school by 9am=(
and i tot i will be able to sleep late on one day..
err..yea got la..
fri no lesson can sleep late..
hahahaha

ps:i wanna play squash=( really really want..
pps: flu flu please go away, come again some other day=X

2009-08-12T16:16:00.000+08:00

started school just two days ago..
whoo..i finally got my ezlink card..
yups
and guess what was the first thing i did after that???
drum roll please..*drum rolls*
I WENT TO GET MYSELF BUS CONCESSION!!!!
YAY
haha
yups..and my bro was like saying..
'welcome to my world' LOL
but its so shuang la..
not having to think abt the bus expenses when u take the bus..
lol
and can take as many trips as u want loh!!!!
WOW.
I LOVE IT ALR(:(:(:

first two days in school not too bad..
maybe cos i get to wake up like 10am???
and lessons start at 1pm???
hahaha
not bad ehh
but then i cant say the same thing for tml...
have lessons at 8am..
all throughout till 2pm..
gosh..
which means i have to wake up at like 6am?!?!!??
OMG LA....
sighs...and no food till 2pm..hiax...
i will be so ravishing after my lesson ends at 2pm..

still..the tot of getting to eat my roast chicken sandwich at SIM..
mmmm..maybe it'll help me get thru my lessons minus the grumbling stomach??
LOL..
but just in case..i'd better get some biscuits..haha

i'm just sooooooooo looking forward to tml nite K Boxing session!!!
hahaha..with my frens of cos:)
die la..i'm getting addicted to k boxing..
tho i dun sing well:X

hmm...i wonder if that person is back alr..
havent heard from him at all yet..oh wells..

2009-07-22T10:50:00.002+08:00

such a disappointment..
i tot i would be able to see partial solar eclipse(be it just 5% aso ok..)
but then the sky just wanna rain-.-"
so cant even see..hiax..
bloody weather..
still, thanks to technology, i managed to glimpse such a rare occurence on tv..
haha.yups.
channel u was showing live telecast feeds from china cctv 10.
woohoo..
i have to say its raelly very very spectacular..
if oni i could see it myself..at that very place..
oh wells..

2009-07-19T14:33:00.002+08:00

ooo..its been quite some time since i blogged..haha.
and i think i really need to spruce up my blog with more pictures
ok sharon!yosh!
haha
i shall resolve to bring my camera ard more often:)
ohhh!! and of cos take more pics of food
muaha.
food porn;p

still waiting for my abt to come soon cheque..
then soon i'll be able to spend again.haha.
ohhh..i do have to save some rites?
for the coming school semester=X

this is really bad..
i keep seeing my bank account depleted..
really need to find tuition
but then i'm feeling so lazy la..
ohh..and coupled with the fact that i'm not sure whether my timetable will allow me to teach
and not to say all those stuff i have to do..
-.-"

i'm seriously thinking of changing my laptop
i know I KNOW
i've been saying this for like umpteen times
but then i just dun haf the finances to change..
sighs..
anione wanna donate some money to sponsor my change of laptop?
its really lagging like nobody's business=X
i think its doing its own procrastination.
thinking abt it..its really ancient now...
must be protesting against the workload i heap on it recently
aiya...dun complain la..u are suppose to work it all out de ma..
alr take out most of the useless stuff fm u le loh..still complain-.-"

oh man...then recently there's like so many movies!!!
gosh..i really wanna watch la!!!
ICE AGE 3, HARRY POTTER..
ughhh..speaking of which i'm suppose to watch ice age 3 with someone
but then that person went over to aussie le-.-"
AND HE DIN TELL ME LA!!!
say wad will tell me when he flying off..
tot i can go send him off=X
i feel i owe him at least that much
but off he went to aussie..
oh wells..
the oni way we can contact now is via msn
that prob explains why i'm online often now..
yes. despite it lagging my entire comp...

i think i'm not attractive.none at all
just a statement
contradict me if u like..but that's wad i think

i'm alr rumbling..i'm bored
but then i aso have to spending power to go out..
this really sucks..
my pay!!!please come soon=((((
i feel so couped up at home...
i need to go someowhere where i can feel unrestricted and pampered..
(READ: DESSERTS(: which ironically = sinful now..)
and i really need to go workout like soon
if not my stomach will start forming a pouch soon..
and its really gonna be unsightly loh!:(

2009-07-01T23:10:00.002+08:00

in the past, i was just able to look at it from the outside..
its doors were closed to me and the grounds look so forbidding to me..
yet now miraculously, after near 2 years of waiting,
it finally opens its doors to me..
but i'm hesitating to enter
why?
my path splits into two in front of my eyes..
not that i cant believe it..
its just that..the offer they are dangling in front of me..
i'm not sure i'll be able to continue on after 10,20 or even 30 years...

my predicament..
a path that leads to a degree and probably a well paid job but sth that i dont really like probably..in two years time
another that leads to a degree, not a that well paid job, doing sai kang, but offers alot of gratification (i think).. in 3-4 years time

just thinking abt the money spent by my parents or rather dad on my education,
the more obvious choice is to choose the 2 year more get degree le rites?
but then is that wad i really wanna do in the future?
i haf a feeling that i'd most probably go on and pursue a different kind of masters altogether
and it'll be so much more different from my bachelor's
however, wad my uncle says is true..
get a degree first, wadeva the degree it doesnt matter
then get a job
work your way up from there

yea..if life was oni that simple in black and white..

urggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY WISH IT WAS):

i have to admit that getting into that forbidden place is REALLY REALLY TEMPTING
shucks..i really hate them now..
u know...if i reject them then i'd keep wondering how i'd fare if i accepted
then if i accept them, maybe in the future i'd wonder how much i can earn if i continued with the other degree
bloody hell
SHARON MAKE UP YOUR BLOODY MIND!!!!
STOP BEING SO FICKLED U A***

all these is really brought abt by my own decisions rites?
*SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
i really need to make a decision soon
to leave it as accepted or to change to reject it...

will i be able to be compassionate?
will i be able to migrate out of singapore?
will i be able to get used to shifts?
and giving up of alot of my free time?
sat and suns?
will i be able to continue on this job, profession 20 years down the road?
is this wad i really wanted to do?
or is it just a substitution of a childhood dream?
albeit an unfulfilled one...

its still thinking time for me..
maybe a few days l8r i'll post up my answers
and i hope by then, i'd be able to be at peace with wad i've choosen

2009-06-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

just came back from a gathering with some old frens...
but somehow why do i feel cut out from them?
like how we dont click together animore..
or is it just my thinking?
i have no idea...
its like two sets A and B no longer has anithing to do with one another animore...
why is that so?
haf i changed?
or haf they become just so strange to me?
are we all drifting away?
or am i just the one that needs tuning back into their world? our world?
i'm so confused...
before meeting them, i was thinking if i shld go or i shld just head on home..
oh wells..mayb its like a final goodbye then..
meeting them for the one last time..
i dont really haf anithing to say to them
and they to me..
i'm like in my own world, they in their's
which they share..but not with me..

i'm withdrawing from the world..voluntary, involuntary
its ironic..how i wish i have frens..and then end up with none..
ha ha..
i wish i dont need to mask myself each time..
mayb they indeed haf accepted me for who i am...
and i'm the one who always want more..
i'm greedy then.. so maybe its my fault..
hiax..wadeva..i dun really care..
or maybe i do?

2009-06-11T14:29:00.003+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone   You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Looked down on
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

89% Losing Someone
88% Being Alone
53% Where Your life is Going
48% Disappointment
31% Looked down on
14% Death
5% Commitment
hmmm..this is very interesting..i tot my fear would be being alone..

2009-06-01T08:17:00.003+08:00

maybe its too much of a mix...
1) watching sappy drama
2) crying (cos of the sappy drama-.-)
3) thinking abt a hell lot of stuff (after watching the sappy drama)
ended up i nearly got insomnia ytd nite..
zzzzzzz

orrr..i can just say i DID try to wake up early..
haha

aniwaes, while i was awake, i tot of the stuff that i was thankful for..
weird topic to think u might wonder..
but that's wad i tot...

i'm grateful for all that has happened to me and for what i've went thru
i'm eternally grateful to my parents
for bringing me up..i admit that i've been wilful many a times
for providing me with food and shelter and pieces of advice now and then
tho i dont really listen..but i understand that they just want the best for me..
i really do..
for letting me grow up in a safe and stable environment
for spending so much money on my education
and that i'll never have to think about monetary issues
and study peacefully not thinking abt jobs and stuff

i'm ignorant, childish, immmature.
wadeva u call it..but that's a result of me being sheltered
for that i'm grateful

i'm thankful for the fact that God has shown me grace time after time
He has showed me what love, friendship, courage, forgiveness and family ties were
He has showed me what i can do and has blessed me with good fortune..
and has never forsaken me in times of need and distress

i'm thankful for being born in singapore.
for having a govt that thinks abt the future rather than short term goals.
for them seeing the huge picture and thus enabling me to grow up in a safe and economically sound country

i'm grateful to my friends for putting up with quite a huge portion of my nonsense.
i know sometimes i may react overboard..push things too far..
yet, i'm still thankful that you are here with me
that you so willingly forgive me for my acts of childishness,
and many times accede to my requests,
and still continue to be my friends, i'm grateful to all of you

to be loved and to love someone in return, its a blessing
and i'm grateful to have been thru this blessing before.
and becos of it..i start to realise many other things that i've never tot before
i hope that you would be able to find someone a lot better than i am..
and that u would find happiness..

and if i were to live my life all over again?
i wouldnt want to change a single thing at all...
my life isnt perfect..but i manage to find beauty in it..
its not something that comes to you suddenly...
but more of after a struggle to get to where you are..
to a brief but sweet period where everything comes to a standstill
and you experience a state of contentment and happiness

its ironic isnt it? that we pursue material goods
when all we want are immaterial stuff like love, care, concern and friendship..
oh wells...that's all for now..
and i hope alarm bells doesnt start ringing
cos i'm really alright.yups.haha
take care ppl. and God bless:)

2009-05-24T23:18:00.004+08:00

ahhh..exams are finally over le
yes yes.
so for now, i'm done with going to the east for exams
haha
yups..until next year that is=X
okies..as for my papers,
socio...well..hopefully can get 3rd class
maths and stats is alr confirmed can get 1st liao...
if not i can just shoot myself
econs...errrrrr..can pass i xie tian xie di le..
then last but not least the shocking IBM ppr
haha
i hope la..can get 3rd class..yea..
hmmm..if all that adds up, i wonder how i'm gg to get my 1st class=X
i'm still dreaming of getting my 1st class honours
then i can go london for the convocation ceremony
and at the same time visit mama when i'm there..haha
yups

suddenly i feel that quite a number of ppl i know are gg overseas..
for studies la
yea..
and once they're gone, its 3 years of not seeing them(for most)
mama's going england, my cousin's aso going there
then now my fren's gg aussie.
awww..shucks.if not for certain issues i might as well be in switz now.urrghhh
aniwaes, i'll definitely miss them loads.
sighss..

sooo..u might be wondering what was i up to for the past 3 days rites?
after exams i went out with my bunch of frens
they're my lecture mates la..
haha
but then..one of them cant make it..
is not i nvr inform earlier hor..its he say last minute that he cannot make it de
wth..i dun like ppl give last min response..
will spoil plan one..
i'm planning for the next outing soon..
so hopefully all can make it

then fri well..i was hoping i'd sleep longer..
the night before oni managed to squeeze in 2 hours slp..
but too bad..din manage to slp much
so after that i went out to haf my modem repaired
and yes!
i finally can use my wireless modem again!!!
haha
no need to fight for internet usage with other ppl
wheee~~~~
dammm happy loh
so after having it repaired
for which i travelled all the way east-.-
UBI LEH.WTF la.an hour bus ride
ughhh,
i went home to take my stuff
then went to jo's house for his party
yups yups
so had fun there
stayed over..which literally translates to no slp..
yea..
took the ~~first~~second bus home..
so by the time i bathed and waited for my hair to dry,
its was 8am
slept till 12pm liddat
then i had to eat lunch and prepare for my jap lessons!!!
haha
sharon is just very powerful rites?
can survive on so little sleep
lol

then ytd, there was celebration for bryan ma..
the theme was angels and demons.yups
haha
i was dressed in all black and with painted black nails
looked like i was out to kill liddat.lol
then we went to newton food circus to makan
or rather they makan-ed i drank
then off we went to clarke quay
but then half way in the journey,
we realised that we missed the last nel train to clarke quay
wow!
so we walked from douby ghaut to clarke quay
by the time we reached,
i think we were all sweating like pigs le..
lol
so we keng gai until 1+am??
yups
took cab back with yuko, pat and his wife, jamie
after dropping yuko off,
the cab driver overshot the exit towards bb
so...as u can guess, we drove ard quite a bit..
haha
yea
finally reached home at ard 2+am..lol

then today woke up at 2pm
wow!!sharon is such a PIG
hahaha
but its good to catch up on lost slp
yea
and was slacking my entire day off at home
good thing is that there was shows to watch
haha
lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events and CJ7
haha
so i was practically watching tv shows all these while

thus.. this is the life of a very uneventful student who just finish her exams.
i really need to find a job soon..
then got money to spend and go out..
haha
wish me luck now..for me to be able to find a temp job=))

2009-05-03T18:03:00.002+08:00

hah. i'm back!
lol.but i should be studying instead of blogging
still.. because there's so much things i wanna blog about
(and becaouse i cant bear to keep it in me for another second longer)
i decided to present my point of view to you.
hahaha

have you been following the AWARE saga over the newspaper?
AWARE = Association for Women's Action and REsearch
yups. the "old guards" vs the "new guards"
which most of all ended in a rather nice conclusion
ie, the new exco(new guards) were being "kicked" out..
i'm pretty pleased with the conclusion to this drama cos it really shows that Singapore women are really not apathetic about what they want.

first of all, lemme say i'm not for or against anithing in this whole saga
i might be more biased towards one side than another
but mainly its because the other has not proven its worthiness for me to believe in them
the "takeover" in 28th march AGM was legal alright
but the new team was plagued with problems
majority of the new exco members were new members in AWARE
not only that, six were from the same church
(could someone please enlighten them on how their religious point of view would taint the decision making in ani secular organisation)
the then president, Ms Nazar quitted the exco just 11 days into the job
this resulted in Josie Lau becoming the president of AWARE

if at this point in time, Ms lau and her team had a press conference to clarify matters as to why they decided to challenge the old leadership and the plans they have for AWARE,
i think the public wouldn't even haf to read about the riveting news on AWARE on the newspaper for a month
(i'm not complaining cos it provided good entertainment;p)
however, they did not,
they left matters unclarified which incensed supporters of the old guard saying the new team were not being transparent

eventually when they were left with no choice but to hold a press conference,
they were talking about the death threats they have received and the and the kind of harrassment they got
how do u think you would be able to garner the support of the public FOR your cause?
at that very same night, the straits times aso learnt about the changing of locks at the hq
wow! they are very efficient when it comes to their personal safety
but what about issues that require you to be more efficient like answering the public's queries?

all these just showed that the new leaders in charge were really inefficient and had no regard for the founders of AWARE
(that is in my opinion)

it all just culminated to yesterday's 7 hours standoff between the old and the new with their supporters.
which was really a fitting climax to the whole saga.
the new guard were really left speechless
and horrors of all horrors,
the month they were at the helm of the leadership, they spent $90k!!!
goodness!
it doesnt mean a spike in membership requires you to spend that much amount of money!

but i still pity josie as she really had a tough job.
facing public flak from her employer - DBS
and the public wrath
its really not easy.
but what really makes my blood boil is the "feminist mentor" Dr Thio Su Mien
who the hell is she to claim that she was one of the founders of AWARE?(she really isnt FYI)
who does she think she is?
when asked to make a comment, all she does was stutter along
hey..you are a LAWYER not a common laywomen
has the cat got your tongue?
she maybe bothered about AWARE's choices of movie for a charity event and the fact that AWARE treats homosexuality as a neutral term,
but she did not look into the other aspects of AWARE
if indeed she is what she says, a feminist mentor,
why did she not scrutinise the whole AWARE system?
why does she not join them to know more about it?
why is she so stuck to her own point of view not to notice others?
if she did not do all these, and yet made a rackus,
what right does she haf in criticising AWARE?

rights...enough of AWARE
the talk of that feminist mentor makes my blood boil..
i really need to go back and do my revision.
がんばってねシャロン！

2009-04-15T23:33:00.004+08:00

do u ever break down into tears all of a sudden?
just becos of like a music piece which u never hear before or sth that u read but doesnt really concern u?
do u ever wonder why u do that?

i've been kinda emotional recently
and i've no idea why.
tried fanthoming what's wrong with me but i cant seem to get an answer..
recently, i've been breaking down and crying for many times..
sometimes, its becos of a passage
sometimes, its becos of a clip that i've seen
sometimes, its becos of a music piece i heard.
there's so many triggers..
but more recently,
i've been bursting into tears for no reasons..
is this disturbing? i have no idea..

maybe its becos of stress levels ba..
that's why my tear ducts are more 'active' now..
haha
aniwaes, i feel so tired after crying..
like now too.
suddenly, i feel that i'm plunged into despair or sth
but dun worry abt sharon
i will just keep thinking i'm living in a much better situation than most african children..

okies..dun say so much abt tears le la
l8r u guys will start asking me wad happened
i'm just stressed la (is it??)
and i'm a bit short on fuse too..
gosh.. i'm really behaving a lot like a PMS-y women=X
horrors of all horrors
haha
so i'm sure u guys (and girls) wont want to talk to someone so angsty right now.
and i guess if u guys call, i'll most probably be role playing again
yups..like what Goffman says in 'THE EVERYDAY PRESENTATION OF SELF'

ohh..before i go off (and not know when i'll be back again)
i just wanted to share sth nice with you peeps

hope you will like the piece of symphonic music like i did=)

2009-03-29T00:08:00.002+08:00

i really must be jinxed electronically this week
-.-"
first of all, my phone hanged.
luckily still can off and then its back to normal again
phew..
if not, i'll haf to send it all the way till JAPAN!!!
horrors:(
then my ipod hanged.
YES! MY iPOD HANGED!
goodness me..had to restart the whole thing..
hiax..
and i tot that was all to my problems of tech things
but heck, NO
the next thing i knew,
BAM,
the internet modem is spoilt
zzz
so now i've got not only no wireless, but also the horror of all horrors,
having to share internet
which means if another is using it, i cant use
=(

hiaxx...so now i've got to buy a new modem
welll...
$$ fly away le :(:(:(:(

ohhh..and first, my blog could not be found..
now my tag board is giving me problem too
hence, conclusion.
i'm electronically jinxed this week
-.-"
wth

its like all the electronic devices just decided to go on strike
so that i would concentrate on studying...
its a conspiracy i think
must be.
hah

2009-03-25T21:32:00.002+08:00

bleah..i cant seem to find my blog aniwhere.
can u?
i dun even know if u can read this post or not..
urgghhh
wadeva happened to my blog i haf no idea..
i only know that instead of connecting to my blog,
i got this page from google telling me sorry..
urrghhh
can anione help me??
i dun quite know wad is happening..:(

2009-03-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i last wrote on my blog..
and i did say that i wont be writing it till my exams are over
welll...
itchy hand me couldnt wait that long eh?
haha...
i've been slacking for a week after my prelims
lets just say i'm taking a (what i consider) well-deserved break
okies..its my way of procrastinating..
but i'll be back to work soon
errmmm tml??
haha

went to watch a movie at gv jurong point today
u shld see the queue for movie tix
it was WHOA
yups. there was a very long queue
i had to wait some 15 mins in order to get my tix sia :X
it was that bad
oh wells..but then today is still a school holiday..
so i shld expected it
heng i din miss ani part of the movie

went to watch departures.a jap movie.
ummm..its abt wad happened after a person dies and before casketing the person
yea..sounds morbid?
its actually not wor..haha
its abt japanese rituals when a person dies..
the last rites..or sth liddat
its really very very touching
i wont go into the details..u shld go watch it if u're interested
when i watched it, i was struck by the similarities jap haf with chinese
in terms of rituals and the respect given

what i'm in awe of is the form of respect, dignity, tenderness given by the mourticians
its really..
i have no words to express what i felt..
just thinking of it makes me feel so grateful to them..so filled and choked up with raw emotions
it made me think that somehow,
when i die, would someone treat me in the same way?

its ironic, the last purchase that u make for yourself is not one that u choose personally
ok..unless u actually planned ur own funeral
but then most of the time, ppl dont.
so your coffin is picked by ur next of kin or ppl other than urself
i think after this movie i actually gained a healthy respect for ppl who do jobs that others dont
yea..like morticians
i cant imagine a world without them
and yet..we dont see them always (thank goodness)
they're always in the background quietly doing their work
its not until someone dear to you pass away that u take note of them

and when the mourticians are doing the ritual of cleansing and clothing of the deceased,
the process is really very healing..
and the way that raw emotions are portrayed..
the way family members finally break down, cried and let emotions flow when their dear ones are deceased
in some ways it provided healing as well as closure
and the things ppl say helps u cope with the pain and the loss.

ppl always haf a stigma for ppl who work in this line..
thinking that its not a good job, that its unclean..
but i beg to differ
without them, you wouldnt be able to go thru this rite of passage,
of preparing the deceased for the next world that awaits them
its a job that is filled with respect, filled with the unspoken rules and norms
it imbues the very nature of society in it.
its a spectacular job
but i guess ppl need to see it in another light in order to really appreciate what these people are helping us do..

aniwaes, enuf on the movie
i decide to change my blogskin
hope you find it nicer than the previous one.
if you dont,..well
too bad.haha.
its my blog after all..and i like it.lol
randoming..i feel like gg somewhere with countryside
maybe i just want to fill my soul with a sense of calm and peace
a life away from the hustle and bustle of the city life..
someday
oneday
i'll be able to go there..yea..

2009-01-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

hows the photo?
i edited it using www.picnik.com
haha
yups
no need photoshop
who needs to buy it when u can edit photos free online?
lol

but really,
thanks to ST's Digital Life, i found some great webby
for editing my photos
u shld try it too=)

how was ur NEW YEAR?
i had quite a good time
itching to play mahjong...
bt then not able to play it.
bleah
but still, it was fun to go house visiting
hee:):):):):):):):):)

oh wells...
this year din get to eat the new year fish=(
that's my fav
got the white colour stuff at the stomach there
whoa
bitter.but NICE:)
and the white stuff?
can only be gotten during new year..
dunno why...

aniwaes, i think the economy downturn,
the angbao money aso shrink
therefore i conclude that shrink in economy = shrink in angbao money
thus they are positively related.
definitely

and why there is an economic downturn?
cos of the bankers not being responsible for their actions
thus, they need to change their attitudes, values and behaviour.

aniwaes, my econs lecturer says its becos of the increasing oil prices
the sub-prime crisis is just a catalyst.
we were already heading in that direction.generally.

ummm...
all i can say to president Obama..
is GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST
yea...
cos i think its not enuf to just use the classical economists views or the kensyian view
both wont stave off the crisis for long.
we need another theory soon
that's wad i think la...
but i may not neccesarily be correct.
dun listen to be utter rubbish

urghhh
stress.
exams coming soon
just blabbing and doing some revision at the same time
ignore me.

i declare this blog has officially gone on HIATUS.
YES.
STARTING FROM NOW.
pls do come check now and again
if i decide to update my blog.
wish me all the best.
i WILL beat the hell out of the exams.
YEAH

2009-01-21T23:29:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i blogged.
i'm thinking of a hiatus..
haha
need to study..
really
this time i really cant afford to procrastinate
tho i keep doing it all the time=X
shoot.sigh.HOW???

i think i'm owing a post on my new year's resolution..
and my everyday life??
but i shall spare u the boring details of my life
i bet u'll slp once u've read the first sentence.
hah

rites....
new year's resolution for 2009
1) be happy
2) study hard
3) earn more than i spend (or translates to spend less $$);p
4) be a better friend
and the one that will send lots into frenzy...
5) get a boyfriend
hah.
i added that one for all those of u who keep asking me to get a bf
now that its in, dun bug me le hor..
it may or may NOT come true.
depends on my moods

i'm thinking of running the 42k run
yea
the stanchart one
the finisher black shirt is just so cool
mayb a 21st bday present to myself??
haha
mayb i'll pig out in the end and not run
now..who knows??

i'm seriously gg on a hiatus.
dun BUG me to get my blog updated on stuff
IT WONT BE TOUCHED TILL END OF MAY
i'm serious.
i think i might even lock my lappie up..
all for my own good.
if u see me online,
SHOOO ME!!!!
tell me i shld go study.really.
and i promise i'll be back again after my exams end
maybe..maybe not..

tata.guys.
take care and god bless.

2008-12-31T12:21:00.002+08:00

ytd was really a day of surprises
haha
i think i can categorise my bday to be the day with the most surprises
hee=D
but then it was really fun la
haha
thanks san jie, mx and amanda for making it so memorable for me

aniwaes, 1st of all,
a big THANK YOU!!
for those who messaged me happy birthday
for those who left messages on my facebook
for those who wished me on msn

when i woke up,
there was this bowl of tian mian waiting for me
haha
thanks mummy:):):):):):)
so i had that for breakfast
after that, went to make up myself
eeee
sharon is so ai mei...
hahahaha
but then its my day ma
i wanna be pretty!!!
lol

met yuko and mx at clementi at 2pm..
cos yuko was late??
haha aniwaes, they din tell me where we were gg la
i was like just following them blindly?
so we took train..
to douby ghaut
ermm rather we overshot the station to somerset
then took another train back to douby ghaut
yea
haha
then we went to plaza sing to eat gelare
wheee~~~
just nice ytd was tuesday
haha
so there was half price waffle
had 4 scoops of ice cream
praline and cream, rum and raisins, honey malt crunch and lemon sorbet
yups
after that, we went to walk abt
walked from ps to ngee ann

then at ngee ann, we just went up and up and up
finally led me out of kino to the coffee club..
where we had coffee..AND...
mudpie!!
haha
i finally got to eat mudpie!!
lol
it was huge la!!
made of 2 layers of ice cream and some thick really compact chocolate crust
the ice cream?
coffee and chocolate
haha
i swear the next time i go coffee club i'm not gg to try the iced blackcurrent coffee le
it really sux at the end la
=X

after the coffee club, we walked BACK to ps
-.-"
this time rd, we went to fish and co, the glass house
yups
its really nice wor..
i've never been there b4
haha
quite a lot of firsts ytd..
hee
then we had seafood platter for one which i never had b4
and at the end of the whole thing,
yuko gave me a heart attack la
she told the crew that it was my birthday
OMG
i was told to stand on the chair when i was wearing a mini skirt!!!!
bleah
well..that is really a first
and for the first time, i had my bday celebrated by the fish and co crew
its not bad la
haha
i got my photo taken on polariod
haha
then the birthday treat on the house?
a scoop of ice cream
flavour?
vanilla
ewwww
haha
so guess how many scoops of ice cream i've eaten?
4 of gelare's + 2 of coffee club + 1 of fish and co's
total = 7 scoops
bleah
i swear i'll not touch ice cream for the rest of the year le...
okies..which technically speaking is only one day
hahaha;p

after the fish and co,
yuko and mx decided to kidnap me to some other place
thus i got blindfolded in the middle of the train station
and brought out to walk about
dots
welll...end up they brought me to newton food centre
lucky nose
haha
i managed to smell food so i knew where i was heading to
so while they were trying to like confuse me on where i was heading to,
amanda was freaking out trying to light the candles on my birthday cake
haha
and YUPS
AMANDA CAME!!!!
they bluff me la
say amanda not able to make it=(
but it was a pleasant surprise nontheless
haha
and i guess its also the first time i had so many strangers wish me happy birthday
i heard one ang moh couple wished me
then after that there was this uncle who was selling tissue ppr
he sang me a birthday song
haha
well..this is INDEED one special birthday loh
lol

then after having the 5th food break of the day,
i finally went to meet syafiq and wei yuan
grrr
they play finish pool even before i got there la=(
booo
i wanna play pool de loh
aniwaes, we talked at mac then they pei me go home
yups
welll..at home i still had another cake waiting for me
-.-"
its really dots la
cos by that time, i was really really full
aniwaes, since the cake is bought by my parents,
must cut and celebrate rites?
haha
so that was the 4th time i blew the candles.
hahaha

and now i'm here typing it on new year's eve
gg for countdown l8r
so gg to prepare now
ciaos guys
haf fun with the countdown!!;p

2008-12-25T20:43:00.005+08:00

i'd say its been quite some time since i last updated my blog
haha
as u know.. today is xmas.
yea yea u guys most likely wont be reading this post today
but i still wanna say it.hmph
haha
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL:)
yups.
i think i've been wished far too many times ytd nite
at chc xmas service
lol
bt then i'm not complaining
i love the songs
heh heh
THAT is the BEST part of christmas
all the christmas carols.
OH...they are all so lovely
haha

okies..lets not try to jump sequence of events..
23rd went for my sim og chalet
gosh..i haf to say its a long time since i last say some of them
haha
its good to see them again,
to talk and u know catch up
but there was always this feeling of the cliques
oh wells..
as da ge says its sth that i cant do abt so why not try to get use to it?
as usual, sharon is a directionless idiot
so yes..she got lost in pasir ris
haha
i really cldn't find where was coasta sands pasir ris
DUN LAUGH
i'm not those ppl who goes chalet frequently ok?
*pout*
we had bbq and i learnt how to play bridge!!!
haha
yups yups
so if anione wanna play bridge can come find me
i wanna practise too
haha
i played bridge the whole nite
i bet u don hear ppl play bridge the whole nite
more lk mahjong or poker or dai dee rites?
lol
but apparently the more we play the more addicted we were to the game
haha
ohhh i haf da ge to thank too
thanks for saving me an hour of err..torture? in the room
i'm so glad that i went out to talk la
apparently alot of them got drunk
eewwwww:(
but i haf to admit there was a stench in the room
and those who got hangover
now..tt's gross :(:(:(:(:(
and i'm proud to say
sharon din touch a single drop of alcohol!!!
not even the vodka
haha

then the next day we checked out, it was like raining
eee
i dun lk rain when i'm out of home
other than that i'm fine with it
haha
went to meet yuko henry and bryan
bryan acc to henry became mr i'm-leaving-the-office-soon ong
hahaha
cos we called him and everytime he says i'm leaving the office soon
and his soon was like one hour?
hahahha
oh wells
but we all dun mind
went bugis to eat dessert
black sesame paste and some mango thingy
lol
then after that we went to walk walk abit..
ohh i got my book eclipse after all
finally after running to so many bookstores and hearing them say out of stock
haha
i got myself a great xmas gift dun u think so?
haha
eagerly reading the book now;p
then we headed to tenah merah...
henry wanted to bring us to the SAF Yatch Club
but then the shuttle bus din operate that day...
but then in the end we took cab there
haha
the food was not bad..
the ambience was really nice
reminded me abit of the time when my dad brought the whole family to raffles marina club
yea
the same sea side dining concept
mmmm
the only draw back?
it was raining and cloudy=(
cldn't really enjoy most of the sight
oh wells...
nvm then
after we eat,
we headed to expo..
for chc musical

the musical was not bad wor..
thanks san jie. for inviting me:):):):)
very funny. but as i told u i love the songs better
haha. classical xmas carols
oh oh oh..they even had us hold candles
wheee
hahaha
i totally love it when there's a candlelight service
ahhh
aniwaes, i did haf fun there
maybe cos there were more ppl ard?
aniwaes, it was really fun to see my bro and bryan battle out in dj max
haha
of cos my bro tio owned la
yay.finally someone helping me to take revenge
lol.
i guess i must really train up in that
haha
i want more songs in my dj max
the ones i haf now mostly are no kick de loh;p

so that is all that was exciting abt the days recently...
oh yea..i got new phone..
but its not exactly working
when its working i'll tell u more abt its features
yups yups
i wish that the phone would work..

oh and ppl, read twilight series.really.its damn nice.
ok..in my perspective.bt u shld read it.
i finally understood why ppl are so head over heels with edward cullen.
cos i'm one of those ppl too;p

2008-12-03T22:19:00.004+08:00

monday was amanda's birthday
hmmm
lets start from the morn..
i woke up
got ready to go to school
and tt day san jie aso pei me go school
hahaha
but i think she not use to 3 hours lecture
i aso agree its abit too long
lol
aniwaes, the lecturer asked us to bring alot of notes
AND as usual,
he wasnt able to go thru all
-.-"
i always wonder why he asks us to bring so much
and and AND!!!
he says we might be having lecture on SUNDAY
9am to 1pm
gosh...
i dun lk having to wake up so early on SUNDAY
and its lk 9 to 1
hiax...
i wish the school din haf to agree to it
bleahs

after lesson ended, we went to clementi
yeps
to meet da BIRTHDAY GIRL
haha
after which we went to IMM to eat dinner
or rather lunner?
lunch and dinner together is called lunner rites?
haha
ate BK
after deciding for a very long
lol
we met cheng hao there
very long din see him le
amanda too!!!!
haha

after our lunner,
we went to chevrons
on the way, san jie decided to get amanda her bday cake
errr..which was more of a xmas log cake??
haha
aniwaes, went chevron's to sing k!!!
yipee
so long nvr sing k
and we all sang until so high

when amanda went to the loo,
i suggested to piece up her bday present t8t
while i tried to hold her back
errrr..apparently i not quite good at holding ppl
lol
sorry wor san jie
i think the chair abit hard to assemble ba..
hahaha;p

but altogether it was really really fun
after singing k,
went to eat supper with wei yuan, henry and yuko
da ge..next time u sad need ppl pei u eat or sth say la
dun always say nth or nvm-.-"
u say tt again i will scold you:(
hmph

tues met up with san jie..
to do sth
but wont tell u yet..
prob until 2 weeks l8r ba..
haha

then today went out with da ge
oops.i think i've been gg out to often le:X
aniwaes, i'm glad to haf someone to talk abt my dilemma...
i know i gotten myself into loads of trouble la
but i'm gg to give to my mum
i aso dunno how i got into such a situation
trust me.
haha
and i must be abit dumb or sth
somehow i cant learn to say NO
bleahs
i shld learn it soon

hmmm and some song for u to listen too
i think its amazing they haf sth like this in k
hahaha
a 13 mins long song i think?

2008-11-29T22:32:00.003+08:00

its time i updated my blog..
haha
my lecture test for IBM is over le...
*screams HOORAH!~*
but then i screwed up ~~abit~~majorly in time management
bleahs

ytd went to meet san jie after school
whee~~
and mx aso..
got to drink my yoghurt drink
whoopee:):):):):):)
but then the strawberry too big le=X
cannot suck it up using straw
lol
after that we went to geylang
YES GEYLANG
hahaha
to...................................
hmm i guess u must be thinking sth unthinkable right now...
rites?????
haha
tsk tsk tsk
we oni went to an apartment
for?
aiya wad u guys thinking la!
dui
just to look at some very sexy and cool
JAP HANDPHONES!!!
tsk tsk tsk
dun let ur imagination run wild
lol

the phones are so cool la!!!!
i decided to get the SO905i model

does the phone look cool??
cool rites?
ahhhh my love
not the first one that i fell in love with
tt one is just too ex=X

then today i met san jie AGAIN!!!
lol
went to walk walk and find inspiration
haha
yea
i aso need to find inspiration one ok
lol
we went to ask abt the phone lines too..
i think end up we both haf to get singtel
if not the hypersim for the phone wont work
sighs
oh wells...
tot can change to starhub
haha
but at least now the youth plan haf unlimited sms to ani service provider!!
whoo hoo;p

just cant wait for the phone to arrive
need to do deposit and payment soon=X
hope hope hope i can get it soon
it looks really really nice and cool and sleek
acckkkk
i'm so in love with it
haha

2008-11-10T16:33:00.002+08:00

its been a long day..
that's what i'm feeling..
but well..its just half way thru only..
bleah
aniwaes, i really wish i wasnt procrastinating
if not i'd be able to start stuyding for my test
lucky thing is my test got postponed a week later
however, wouldnt it be better if the test was quickly over and done with?
i guess u agree with me too

i really should stay away from the comp
and start touching my books
urrghhh
totally no motivation to mug
HOW AM I GONNA GET MY FIRST CLASS HONORS?????
:(((((((((((((((

oh wellls...
i think that's all for the post.
i'm just ranting..

2008-10-30T23:24:00.002+08:00

mayb cos i've been thinking too much lately
feeling so melachonlic..
everyday open the papers
to see one after another depressing news
sighs...wad has the world come to?
now i fear for my future
i wonder wads the point of studying so hard
when after we graduate,
we're not even guaranteed a job
how long will this bleak period last?
no one can say for sure
only guesses...
when i graduate, will i be able to feed myself?
will i not starve?
there's so much unanswered questions floating ard my head
and the more i ponder,
the more i fall into despair
the more i feel like getting a degree is becos of social norms
and wad i really wanna do is break out of these norms
what if one day i called someone
and the first thing i say is
DAMN THIS WHOLE ******* WORLD
wad would be the person's reaction?
what if the person asks me how am i?
and i replied are u asking after my psychological status, social status, financial status, emotional status, physical status, etc...
so many what ifs..
but only one question..
do i dare to break out and do those what ifs...
do you?

2008-10-15T23:05:00.004+08:00

"The wind told me that you know about love. If you know about love, you surely must know about the Soul of the World, because its made of love."

The sun replied:
"From where I am, I can see the Soul of the World. It communicates with my soul, and together we cause the plants to grow and the sheeps to seek shade. And from where I am, which is a long way form Earth, I learned to love. That if I came a bit too near or too far, everything there would die, and so the Soul of the World would perish. We contemplate each other, and want each other. I give it life and warmth, and it gives me reason to live.

And I know the Soul of the World, because we converse at great length with one another. It tells me the greatest problem is that only the minerals and vegetables understand that all things are one. That there's no need for iron to be the same as copper, or copper the same as gold. Each performs its own functions as a unique being, and everything would be a symphony of peace if the hand that created all this stopped on the fifth day. But there was a sixth day."

The boy counter replied:
" You are wise as you observe everything from a distance, but you don't know about love. If there hasn't been a sixth day, there wouldn't be man; copper would remain as copper, and lead, lead. It's true that everything has its own Personal Legend, but one day that Personal Legend would be realised. So each thing has to transform itself into something better, and to acquire a new Personal Legend, until someday, the Soul of the World becomes one.

It's not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it's not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. When I first reached through it, I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see that it was like all other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will either be better or worse. And that's when the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."

A current of love rushed from his heart, and the boy began to pray. It was a prayer he had never said before, because it was a prayer without words or pleas. His prayer didn't give thanks for his sheep having found new pastures; it didn't ask that the boy be able to sell more crystal; and it didn't beseech that the woman he had met continue to await his return. In the silence, the boy understood that the desert, the wind, and the sun were also trying to understand the signs written by the hand, and were seeking to follow their paths, and to understand what was written on the emerald tablet. He saw that omens were scattered throughout the earth and in space, and that there was no significance nor reason attached to it; he could see that neither the deserts, nor the wind, nor the sun, and the people knew why they were being created. But that the hand had a reason for all this, and that only the hand could perform miracles. Because only the hand understood the larger design that had moved the universe to the point at which six days of creation had evolved into a master work.

The boy reached through to the Soul of the World, and saw that it was a part of the Soul of the God. And he saw that the Soul of the God was his own soul. And that he, a boy, could perform miracles.

-Taken from "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho

2008-09-25T16:03:00.002+08:00

school's starting to gear up..
so will be getting more and more busy
i guess my peak will be next month
haha
tt's when all my tuition kids start their exams
(be it final year or major exams)
and when my lectures are not gg to take a break
yups
its not like now so slack liddat
still got time to do project study for test
haha
i think if i haf a test during that period in time i might just die
=X

aniwaes, i met up with yuko last fri:D
its been a long time since i met tt girl le loh
and she tells me she's gg to cut her hair again
haha
ok..trim.cut and trim are two very different things

actually wanted to bring her to this 2nd hand jap bookstore cum cafe
BUT BUT BUT
who knew
the place kena torn down le-.-"
and their webby still working loh
make me haf wrong idea.
ended up, she had to bring me somewhere to eat
lol
so we went to the tcc photo gallery
its a really nice place..
but too bad the menu wasnt as interesting as the place's decor
so we went of to central instead
went to eat marutama ramen (did i spell correctly?)
the ramen is so SHIOK la!!!
not maggie mee.. the soup aso no msg
wooo
i LOVE IT!
haha
esp the soup. the mian was heavenly..the meat aso
OMIGOSH loh
after tt we went to walk walk abit
and to cap a delicious meal would be to haf dessert rites?
so off we headed to BUGIS
i seriously think that i've not been to bugis for a very long time
there's lk so much changes
there's this shop which sells sth like cream puffs
OMG la..its so nice.
i even bought some home for my family to try
ohh that's not the main star
the main star was the ice blended yoghurt
ooooo
the blended ice with the yoghurt and the fruits
okies..over exaggerating.
its actually the price that was the main star
haha
for a cup of the ice blended yoghurt, it cost ard $2.50
kinda cheap rites?
normally ice blend yoghurt aso not so cheap de loh
ahhh.. cos they having promotions
hahaha

okies..enuf blogging.
its time to start mugging le..
hiax..books..
i swear one day i'll learn to love books
yea

2008-09-10T16:05:00.006+08:00

just a song i tot i'd share. it was written especially for cancer patients. but the lyrics have a far more meaningful touch to it. and can be applied to many occasions.

this song is just for u ladies:)

JUST STAND UP -- various artist

Beyonce: The heart is stronger than you think,
It’s like it can go through anything.
And even when you think it can’t it finds a way to still push on, though

Carrie: Sometimes you want to run away, Ain’t got the patience for the pain
And if you don’t believe it look into, your heart the beat goes on

Rihanna: I’m tellin’ you that,

Rihanna/Miley: Things get better, Through whatever

Rihanna: If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up

Sheryl: Don’t you know you can go be your own miracle

Beyonce: You need to know

CHORUS :
Sheryl: If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough,
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up

Sheryl/Beyonce: Who are we to be..questioning, wondering what is what
Don’t give up…THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Fergie: It’s like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face

Leona: Just because you go through it

Fergie: Don’t mean it got to take control, no

Leona: You ain’t gotta find no hiding place

Keyshia: Because the heart can beat the hate

Leona: Don’t wanna let your mind keep playin’ you

Keyshia: And sayin’ you can’t go on

Rihanna: I’m tellin’ you that

Miley: Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna: If you fall

Miley: Dust if off, don’t let up

LeAnn: Don’t you know you

Natasha: Can go

LeAnn: Be your own

Natasha: Miracle

Carrie: You need to know

Ensemble: CHORUS
Mary: You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind

Ciara: If you fall, dust it off

Mary: You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah

Mary: Let your heart be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah yeah yeah

Mariah: And you will know that you’re good if you trust in the good

Ashanti: Everything will be alright, yeahLight up the dark, if you follow your heart

Mary: And it will get better

Mariah: Through whatever

CHORUS
Sheryl: If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough,
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up

Sheryl/Beyonce: Who are we to be..questioning, wondering what is what
Don’t give up…THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Fergie: It’s like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face

Leona: Just because you go through it

Fergie: Don’t mean it got to take control, no

Leona: You ain’t gotta find no hiding place

Keyshia: Because the heart can beat the hate

Leona: Don’t wanna let your mind keep playin’ you

Keyshia: And sayin’ you can’t go on

Fergie: You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within

Everyone: THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

2008-08-31T19:23:00.007+08:00

assignments coming in..
haha
haf to start revising
test aso
oops=X
i'm feeling so lazy today
haha.
i really miss jc life
with all the lectures and tutorials
@ least my brain wun get fried for 3 hrs straight lessons
=X
LOL

at least jc was much much more fun with all the activities
but one thing's the same..
the mugging
haha.
the library is aso cool=D
lk nlb.
all reference textbooks
well...i really shld spend more time in the lib
arrghhh..i'm becoming a nerd
='( sobs

One Step at a Time -- Jordin Sparks
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

You believe, and you doubt
You're confused, and got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer (you can't wait)
But there's no end in time (when you need to find the strength)
It's your faith that makes you stronger (the only way we get there)
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

2008-08-22T00:06:00.003+08:00

its been 2 weeks after ndp
i really need to start studying soon!!!!!!!
urrggghhhh
jia you jia you
welll...miss the trainings u know
cos its 2x a week
u haf sth to do, to look forward to
then it disappears
yea...

aniwaes, studying is fun
really..
gosh..i miss gg to school
cant believe that i'm actually thinking this IS fun
-.-"""
hahaa
but its still better than dreading it
lol
but my sociology!!!!!
urrrghhhh
so utterly disgusted and disappointed with myself
i cant seem to register ani single thing my lecturer taught
damnn...and SHOOT
how the hell am i suppose to sit for the exam next year=(((
i just totally dun get socio..
can someone help me PLLEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEEE?????
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
mayb cos its a rather dry topic?
but then i tot i liked socio
seems lk i dun
haha
no interest?
nono..cannot attribute that to just plainly no interest
wtf
okies...sharon sharon..
u MUST, die aso MUST try to understand the lecture
and i shld start MUGGING
yes..that's the word..
M.U.G.G.I.N.G
rites rites rites rites rites...
i'm lagging behind in my readings..
so i shld start reading my socio textbook soon
lk this weekend?
yea
well..that's all
oh...
and pls pls pls DO CONTACT ME if u can help me in SOCIO in ANIWAY.
that's all..
:):):):):):):)
haf a pleasant week ahead ya?:)

2008-08-03T16:14:00.003+08:00

C.R.U.S.H.E.D
suddenly feel like finding a forest clearing
laying on the wet ~~dewy~~ grass,
and stare and stare at the night sky
filled with many many stars

i read..
carl ng is flying away ~~again~~!
off to england this time..
i wanna go ENGLAND too:(
must study veryveryveryveryvery [very^infinity] hard
yups..
but then its just his excuse to get out of here
i aso wan an ~~excuse,~~ reason:(

NDP going to be over soon..
i'm sad
but at the same time,
i know good things cant last long
must cherish the remaining times left..
and create even more wonderful and ~~beautiful~~ memories
:):)

2008-07-27T00:19:00.003+08:00

i learnt something
i learnt why the moon looks diff from the earth
got a glimpse into the universe's secrets
it all lies in overcoming
overcoming meteorites

if we treat meteorites as our adversities,
coming to us one after another,
how we overcome and move on [or not]
will produce diff results
we can say,
the earth decided to move on,
the moon decided defeat

likewise, if i were to compare it to life,
we do haf adversities coming to us one after another
but how we face it, overcome it, is entirely diff altogether
we can choose to be active, to overcome
like the earth, to become beautiful, lively..
or we can choose to admit defeat after a few blows
and be [abit] dead looking like the moon..

but, i dun think the moon is just dead looking..
it reflects the sun's light nicely..
such that it seems as tho it gives off light on its own
nevertheless, it serves as a constant reminder
that we shld look towards our own inner mirror
cos it shines not oni the sun's[our] brightness,
but aso our dark spots..

i aso heard...
chanting daimoku is liken to the atmosphere surrounding earth
burning away the meteorites before it can strike us fully
it serves as a protective layer,
shielding us from ani major harm...

pretty interesting..
i gained abit of insight..
haha
and aso abit on woman's beauty
well...
i think all of u haf heard before
inner beauty is always longer lasting than outer beauty
aniwaes, that'll be another topic for another time

lets all chew on this first:)

ihopethatonedayiwouldfindoutwaditruelywannadoandnotwonderardunfixedofmyfinaldestination..listentotheheartthatbeatsanditllguideutheway

2008-07-22T14:28:00.006+08:00

I'M BACK!!
from camp i mean
haha
yups..SIM UOL freshman orientation camp
not bad la..
haha
is got standard de wor..
except for some GM -_-
but nvm
still, the camp cannot beat jj's one
haha
the mass dance aso.
think jj's one is like so much better and nicer and more xiao
haha
but then jj is jj, sim is sim
cannot compare these two t8t

i'm so lucky to get a good sp
hope we will be good frens=)
aniwaes, he's pretty sporty that kind...
and luckily we had sth to talk thru the whole walk
and and and...
guess wad?!
his FOD ogls are the same as mine!!
haha
except his was day 2 and mine day 1
lol
so qiao rites?

my og was ok...
but somehow the girls there gave me the impression that they were from all girls school before
goshh...
they are very hiao wor..
not saying they are bad la
they are good
then they formed cliques
goodness..
think there's 2 cliques le..
and i'm like the outcast?
with another girl
zzzz
dang...
the guys in my og are pretty good
i got to know 2 from soka!!!
WOW
haha
and its oni the day after the camp,
i met alvin at ndp training
gosh...
such coincidence
haha
aniwaes, alvin says he's pulling me and steven to go for itac meeting
woooo
busy busy
;p

aniwaes, they got og outing le wor..
day after camp
but then i in ndp nia...
cannot go
lol
today gonna meet them guys for dinner
then we all gg to post camp bash
whooo
at butterfactory
but then i hear bf nt very nice
dunno wad to expect
haha
just go there haf fun loh
=D

2008-07-11T14:44:00.004+08:00

犬と私の10の約束

10の約束:

1. 私と気長につきあってください。
Give me time to understand what you want of me.

2. 私を信じてください。

それだけで私は幸せです。
Place your trust in me.
It's crucial to my well-being.

3. 私にも心があることを忘れないでください。
Be aware that however you treat meI'll never forget it.

4. 言うことをきかないときは、理由があります。
Before you scold me for being lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.

5. 私にたくさん話しかけてください。

人の言葉は話せないけど、わかっています。
Talk to me sometimes.
Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when it's speaking to me.

6. 私をたたかないで。

本気になったら私のほうが強いことを忘れないでください。
Remember before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you,
but that I choose not to bite you.

7. 私が年を取っても、仲良くしてください。
Take care of me when I get old.

8. あなたには学校もあるし友だちもいます。

でも、私にはあなたしかいません。
You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends.
I have only you.

9. 私は10年くらいしか生きられません。

だから、できるだけ私と一緒にいてください。
My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years.
Any separation from you will be painful for me.

10. 私が死ぬとき、お願いです。そばにいてください。

そして、どうか覚えていてください。

私がずっとあなたを愛していたことを。
Go with me on difficult journeys.
Everything is easier for me if you are there.
Remember I love you.

2008-07-10T13:17:00.003+08:00

another week is going to pass me by again
butbutbut
eventful wor..
haha
monday was ndp daimokukai session
ANDDDD
they changed our headgear!!
wooo
nicer now..at least tt's wad i think
haha
:):):):):):):):):):):):)

tuesday went for tuition, which was...
errrmmmm
rather ok..but b4 that i got a BIG BIG shock
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
thinking of not teaching her liao..
tho the pay is way way better than the other 2 tuitions
then then then!!!
at nite got call from SIM FOC OGL
whoooo
i got into FOC!!!!!!!!!
:):):):):):):):):):)
waaa chant so hard.finally get in.
very happy wor..haha.
i'm in OG2, OG colour is ORANGE!!:)
same as when i first entered F6.haha
reminds me of jj orientation..
the one i experienced..

ytd went for NDP training...
they changed some of our steps
heng its oni abit
haha

today gg to recee Arena Country Club
for my bowling event
alot of ppl saying i no wisdom
haha
stay in BUKIT BATOK
travel all the way to JURONG WEST
to join some youth club...dots la...
haha
now i aso thinking i no wisdom then
sia la....
very hou hui...
but then bo bian leh...
got to finish my event then dun go
haha
waste bus fare..

2008-07-04T12:46:00.003+08:00

ahhh..its finally friday
the weekend is coming!!
shoot..which means that i've got 2 performances
sat: NDP NE show 1
sun: MILKRUN stomp performance
okies okies..coooooollllll
i will not get nervous jitters
will not
errr...hope not to
haha
and after those 2 performances,
my busy busy week will mark an end
whoopee
:):):):):):):):):):):)

sighs....
whenever i look at my bank account...
the amt just goes down and down
feel so sad la
THEN THEN THEN
my tuition kid hasnt paid me yet
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
so i'm so broke rite now..
okies..not exactly VERY broke
but still...
i'm moving further and further from my goal!!
*sobx*

aniwaes, i've been slping like a pig recently...
booo...
i wanna wake up early
i wanna listen to dan the man and young!!
and not wake up listen fall aslp,
wake up listen fall aslp
so sian la..
how to listen liddat
=.="
and yesh..
DANIEL ONG IS BACKKKKK!!!
yippeeee~~
haha
goshhh..i so miss dan the man
dan the man and young rox my socks off!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2008-06-25T23:19:00.003+08:00

PDN NI MI
~~EEHW

so exciting.
suddenly, i feel close to C1.
oh yeah~~
rock on C1
:):):):):):):):):)

haha.
and as of today,
i just got myself and ah gong and ah pa
lol
okies.. joking.
but its super fun to hang out with that gang of ppl
then gg home afterwards

AND AND AND!!!
i'm given a task!!!!!!!!
set up a C1 BLOG!!
haha
cant wait cant wait
okies..
after this post, im gg to do it le.
whoopee
:):):):):):):):):)
all smiles around.

*p.s: i think my mouth is splitting from the wide smile :D

2008-06-16T17:58:00.002+08:00

yaparuu~!!!
i finished watching hana kimi japan and hana yori dango
i really really think that hana kimi japan is much much much better than the taiwan version
errrmmm
altho there's wu zun la..
but then HKJ's story plot is sosososo MUCH better than HKT
for those of u who watched hana kimi taiwan
and was disappointed with the ending
watch hana kimi JAPAN!!!
gosh
i totally fell in love with it la
haha

aniwaes,
hana yori dango
for those who are not sure wad it is,
its actually japan drama for meteor garden
yups
lol
hmmm
well both are comparable
but i think i like the japan one more
mayb cos its short and sweet?
not too draggy?
haha
i like short and sweet stuff
dun drag too long
will just kill my interest

funnily enuf, dango means dumpling
haha
maybe hana yori dango = dumplings over flowers?
lol
sumimasen..its a direct translation;p

and i cant wait for hana kimi special and hana yori dango the movie to be out
gosshhh
i hope they come out soon
=((((
i'm dying just waiting for it
lol

the main cast for 花ざかりの君たちへイケメン♂パラダイス
(Hanazakari no Kimitachi e Ikemen Paradise):

Horikita Maki (堀北真希) as Ashiya Mizuki (芦屋瑞稀); Rui Xi
Oguri Shun (小栗旬) as Sano Izumi (佐野泉); Quan
Ikuta Toma (生田斗真) as Nakatsu Shuichi (中津秀一); Xiu Yi

main cast for 花より男子
(Hana Yori Dango) - [boys before/over flowers]:

Inoue Mao as Makino Tsukushi [Shan Cai]
Matsumoto Jun as Doumyouji Tsukasa [Dao Ming Si]
Oguri Shun as Hanazawa Rui [Hua Ze Lei]
Matsuda Shota as Nishikado Soujiroh [Xi Men]
Abe Tsuyoshi as Mimasaka Akira [Mei Zuo]

ahhhh~~~
SUKI!!!!<33
(:(:(:(:(:(:

2008-06-07T01:15:00.001+08:00

some things that are lost,
are lost eternally
holding on has became a burden...
is it time to let go?

2008-06-01T22:38:00.007+08:00

不是闹着玩的
攀墙是很危险的
可，有些人就把它不当一回事似的
让人气不气吗。。
我在上，你在下
若换另一个人的话，我倒要看看他会有多怕
在上面的感觉并不好。。
何况我又有居高疹
唉。。。
感觉上我的寿命好像减了一大半
哈哈

i'm so thankful that i learnt all the standard protocol before
i clearly remember certain calls
haha
mayb its due to the comic-ness of the lesson conducted
haha
kudos to the 2 trainers that trained the bunch of us
i think we were their most enjoyable class ba
haha
all small kids, having such great fun with the protocols
mayb this was wad made it easier to remember
lol

but then its all over isnt it?

saving gaia
hands up those of you who know wad gaia is..
good. put your hands down
well done.shows u did alot of reading
haha

i think after this series of advertisement
alot of people will know what is gaia
for those who dont,
here's your enlightenment
gaia = earth
greeks called the earth as gaia
pronunced as gay-yah
yups
nice name rites?

aniwaes, earth.
if i cant save people, why not save the earth.
its still saving sth
just heard that on tv
妙手仁心3

but how many people are guilty of leaving a HUGE carbon footprint?
i know i am
but i will contribute back
i know i will
donate money to buy hectres of earth
to plant trees to save the environment
forgot wads the website
but there is one such webby running
just solely for the purpose of cancelling off your carbon footprint
make it as minimal as possible

i'm learning
i know one day i'll acheive
my carbon footprint is accumulating day after day
but i will clear tt debt
one day
one fine day(:

2008-05-25T23:19:00.006+08:00

sometimes, its best not to hope
not to care...
just received my ntu rejection letter
am waiting for my nus one...
they asked who waits for rejection letters
me.
not that i'm being well..stubborn?
or pessimistic..
its just facing the facts
they keep hopes
and i keep dashing it
i shld haf known my own ability
its not being bitter
i am not
but if i were to hope,
i know i might not be able to get out of it
its scary
it still hurts
but i'm learning
slowly, one by one
letting go
but its not easy

some things that are lost, are lost
no matter how hard i try,
i would still arrive at the same disappointing answer
its disheartening.
mayb its not meant to be
but to see it fall, crumble
to bits and pieces in front of my eyes
its..i'm not sure how to put it
but i just cannot accept it

i might be at fault
but, i'm trying
at least i think i am
mayb it'll just sort it out by itself?
haha.my wishful thinking
mayb once this is over i can like go back to being blissful?
but i doubt so
nvm

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