Monday, January 17
sometimes u really just wish that there was a stop button.
or a pause button
for u to pause life just to catch a breather of what is being thrown at you.
but then to your horror,
there is no such thing
and u just have to take everything
even when its just too much for u to bear
and its back to the time
where smiling takes a lot of energy too
and just to maintain status quo
complicated stuff processed by a puny 286
not really compatible
but who really cares
its the end results that everyone's after
and its that they will get
albeit a bit more slowly
complicated stuff are complicated stuff
so have to be processed slowly or complications might arise
just like life has no pause button,
and so one must continue to trudge on
facing the flow of queries
howruokeverythfine
yet another round
its just another round
and soon it'll all be over
all be over..
i shld prob change.
soon.
before i procrastinate.
`~mY woRLd~`
ate wrote on 11:14 PM.
Sunday, January 2
its a new year.. and supposedly a new start
but somehow i seem to be making a rather bad start to a new year.
somehow.. i wish i could turn the hands of the clock back
till now i have no idea if i regretted the decisions i made along the way
the things that i eventually gave up
without trying hard to achieve them
the things that i regret ending
will one more of my decision end up as my regret?
cos i'm too caught up in how miserable this is?
sigh
there are many things that i have thought hard and long about
but sadly, majority of those i cant even answer myself
its like, there's sth stopping me from answering
there's just too much to bear
either hurting, or feeling sad, or pitying
i have no idea.
but i just wanna be that nice person out there,
which when everyone thinks of, they would say.
oh she's such an angel
but i guess, now everyone's just saying
oh what a devil she is. such selfishness and thoughtlessness
the things that she does to gain attention and pity.
its not easy to be that person that i want to be
but i guess, no one ever really said life was a bed of roses
twas was said, life is, but a bed of roses.
and i stupidly left out the but
thinking that it will be true
oh bother. i'm emoing once more
i learn that i cannot run away from my problems.
they will still come back and haunt me.
and demand that i make the best out of my given situation to solve them
sometimes, i really think God is unfair
but i trust him
i trust Him to lead me through life
i have learnt not to rant and rave at God, but rather to trust him wholeheartedly
in the past, i chose to run away whenever i have a problem
run from God, from Him who has planted the problem there
i know that He planted it there for a purpose
for me to grow and learn
but somehow i cant seem to overcome that obstacle
i cant fanthom why God, who is so loving and kind,
would plant such things in my way.
i would have to learn
its not going to be easy. but i would try
and honesty is where i will begin from
without it, everything else will be a lie
just like how i lie to cover my true feelings
so that no one would be hurt
but i was selfish
cos i ended up hurting everyone
including me
and i hurt myself the most.
i'm tired of pretences
that's not who i am
and not who i wanna be.
so lets all just get honest
and let everything out.
and lastly, to forgive the person who has done harm in one way or another.
just like how God and Jesus forgive our sins.
we too, should learn
even they pardon us, so why cant we pardon those who sinned against us?
`~mY woRLd~`
ate wrote on 6:05 PM.
Saturday, January 1
yesterday was the day that i turned 22
and the day where i went out of house with 2 oerfect hole-less ears
and came back with 2 holes in my ears
ok.. so now i'm a hole-y person
HAHA!!!
okk.. lame i know. i shall stop
the start of my birthday wasnt spectacular.
but its ok
i guess.. everything will turn out fine
like wad da ge says. everything is in shades of grey
so i guess, after all that is said and done,
the rest is up to Him to decide alr
woke up to have my mama cook tian mian for me:)
that was <3
haha!
after which went out with yuko and mx:))
well.. i got to play my arcade game
JUBEAT!!!!
hahahaha
i hope to be able to play again soon
and i unlocked one new song
whee~~
and upped one jubeat level!
haha
so i'm no longer a noob nor a pineapple alr ok!
lol
after jubeating was lunch!
ok.. not really
cos went to play other arcade games
heh heh
its been some time since i last played arcade
ok lunch was HUMONGOUS.
yuko pulled me to eat some huge empire state burger
sth like the new york new york burger challenge
that was huge.
just eating one quarter of it is enough to make me full
lol
after which omg omg omg! this is the highlight i guess
yuko dragged me to have my ears pierced!!!
she just dragged me to a shop
and told me to choose a pair of earrings
that i was going to have them pierced that day
like o.O
i was so shocked
omg omg omg.
and now when i clean my ears with chlorhexidine, it hurts like mad!
mad much i tell ya!
:(((((
but no choice, i dont want infection to set in
so have to use chlorhexidine to wash..
sigh
so yea.. i went out with perfect ears
and now i'm more with 2 holes.
mixed feelings. definitely.
`~mY woRLd~`
ate wrote on 12:36 AM.
Tuesday, December 21
wonders how long has it been since i last fell sick
as in with high fever.
not just flu or cough.
might be quite long ago.
and now, after all these time of complaining i might fall sick soon,
i finally fell sick
and what a time to have fever!
its just 4 days away from christmas
and all my plans of meeting up with my frens have to go awry
due to the fever monster D<
quite angry with it.
bah.
high fever is not fun :(
temp went up to like a 39.1..
then plunged to a low of 37.8
never once below baseline.
just hope that it would resolve itself after tml or sth
i've still gotta meet up with frens and attend a birthday party!
god, i sincerely pray to you
pls let my fever subside.
i really dont like flash fever
esp not at this time.
`~mY woRLd~`
ate wrote on 3:39 PM.
Thursday, December 16
exams have ended~ :)
and attachments has started
and about to end soon
lol.
its been long since i updated my blog..
exams ended on the 1st.
if amanda dear din fly off and had ended her exams too, we would be celebrating her birthday then
but.. nopes. that din happen
haha
instead, i went with the nurses to TUNG LOK
yes! TUNG LOK
you din see wrongly.
u must be thinking since when do we have so much moolah to splurge rites?
haha
the nike 10k runners have like $100 off vouchers
but have to spend minimum $200 la..
well.. its still ok
i managed to taste some pretty unique stuff
as well as awesome hor fun. haha!!
and in the end, one person paid ard $20 for the meal
awesome? totally! its called AWESOME-NESS
haha!!
ok i'm high
lack of sleep makes me high. and crazy. and i was just that the entire time during my last shift and today
i dont quite rmb wad i did for 2nd and 3rd dec.
but i knew i went out for both days...
hmmmm... ohhh! i went to play jubeat with ryan on 3rd dec!
ok
i'm hooked
that game is absolute fantabulastically addictive
HAHAHA XD
i shall have to start refraining myself from going to the arcade too often :s
eeps.
ohhh.. and i remembered. 2nd was out too..
so many outings after exams
and i've got a whole list after attachments too. LOL
4th had to stay over at my friend's house cos her aunt kindly said yes to driving us to school at 2.30am
haha
yes yes. cos 5th we had standard chartered marathon medical duties to cover
and omg. the sun was so freaking hot
i now have a sock tan line
ewwwww :(
its super disgusting. i hope it fades away soon.
and if i were to run the 42k. i die aso must finish before 11am
after that, the sun is just beating down mercilessly on you
not a fun thing esp if u are running along the expressway.
not much shelter too :x
medic duties done, i was shagged. TTM.
felt that i had ran 42k with the runners too! :s
slept so soundly on entire way home.
and went home, slept even more
ok.. in the evening went out to settle present for friend
busy busy!
acks.. ok now comes attachment
really nth much to be said
attachment is... attachment
indescribable
there's the good, better and best.
i would say this ranks between good and better
haha
i was trained in positive attitude (and of course thinking too)..
so yups. POSITIVE.
i was still panicking about being unable to meet 70% of my skills.
but thankfully, i managed to hit them all by today.
phew
so tml will be a slacker day for me! :D
okies.. not really. the fav pt discharged:(
no one to talk to:(
awwww.. but i will still survive the last day
haha:)
well.. there's still the semut to 'bully'.HEH
actually, i realised that the poly students are fun to hang out with.
should get to know them better
and they are really able to save u in many a times
haha
aniwaes, i've got a whole line up of exciting events to go
starting from this weekend itself
up all the way till the end of the year.
so if you ppl who are reading my blog wanna date me,
MAKE BOOKINGS IN ADVANCE!
i wont guarantee u a spot on the day u want.
but i will try to squeeze in some how
i've still got a few more days left available:)
hahaha. okies. that's all for self promotion.
go on and i think i will puke.
too much self promo isnt a good thing. HEH
cant wait for tml 3pm to come and go.
and its back to gLee :D
`~mY woRLd~`
ate wrote on 5:54 PM.
